Posts From A Melting Ice Cave

I was a prisoner in my own home this week as sleet, freezing rain and the occasional snow flake inundated my town. I love those days because they are a throwback to childhood. They are bonus days which are unexpected and unplanned. Those are the days that Mother Nature dictates the schedule and the world is along for the ride. I check the weather religiously and usually know what the next few days hold, but I got busy early last week and forgot to follow my pattern. As a result, I was really surprised on Monday when the first rumblings of the storm headed my way. I went home Monday night and didn't come back to the office until Thursday morning. I thought I took home plenty of work to keep me busy through two days of exile. I was wrong. By Tuesday afternoon, I completed all of the work I’d brought home and boredom began to set in. Karla was sick for three days last week and spent most of it in a Nyquil induced coma, I was left to fend for myself. Here is a sampling of what I did to pass the time.

1.) Moved furniture for no particular reason.

2.) Reprogrammed my voice recognition system to follow my elmer fudd voice. Example “Go to sweep wittle computer; hahahaha.

3.) Spent an hour reading about “twitter” and its place in the business world. As a side note, I still don’t get it and I refuse to use anything with the word “twit” so prominently featured in the name of the product. Furthermore, I refuse to “tweet” anything, I am a man, not a small bird you idiots.

4.) Watched about 100 episodes of “The Office” and learned that “FNC double time” means front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go.

5.) Listened to Karla snore.

6.) Learned that when I snore, Karla finds it acceptable to hit me in the face, while I sleep.

7.) Danced to the disco music from “Car Wash”.

8.) Watched OU beat OSU, the Thunder beat the Memphis Grizzlies and Nebraska beat Kansas.

9.) Ordered tickets to the OU/Texas A&M game next week.

10.) Yahooed with Brother Mark.

11.) Listened to Karla snore some more.

12.) Wrote another chapter of the book.

13.) Learned that I don’t make coco or oatmeal to Karla’s satisfaction.

14.) Broke dishes.

15.) Learned that a house is really empty without a dog.

16.) Drank beer

17.) Woke up a snoring Karla, who responded by hitting me in the face. I responded as any battered husband would and bonded her out of jail. (Heh, just kidding).

The sun is out today and this ice is nearly gone. It will be 70 degrees tomorrow and my winter days will be another memory that I'll press in an album along with the pictures. Spring is just around the corner here in Oklahoma, but it was nice to have a few days of real winter weather. I’m always happy to give mother nature a few days of control, even at the expense of my sanity.

Trialdawg.

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine.

Its been a tough week around the house, but I was better after this exchange in our kitchen yesterday morning...

Karla: "I rearranged the refrigerator because the water was compromising the structural integrity of my box".

Me: "That's what she said."

It sure felt good to laugh again!

Thanks Karla.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

Life is funny almost everyday we live it. We plan things for months, we put them on our calendars because we expect things to happen in a certain order and we feel comfortable for that small measure of control over something we don’t really control at all. January 21, 2009 was supposed to be a good day. I had a lot of new clients coming in, I was to prepare for my cases in court tomorrow. Karla was to have lunch with her family and I was to go see my uncle. I was looking forward to a boat show with my brother and dad this weekend, and perhaps even a basketball game. I woke up at 7:45 AM to find Limbaugh, our 14 year old cocker spaniel asleep on her pillow in front of the foot of our bed. I went into the kitchen to clean up a little and five minutes later, I came back to the bedroom to find that she had moved to our bathroom. I had no idea that anything was wrong. I reached down to pet her, she lifted her head and that was the last time she ever moved. I touched her again, but she was gone. I moved her back to her pillow to get a better look at her. As I picked her up, she was limp and she took her last breath. Limbaugh died this morning of what I believe was a heart attack. She was gone in less than a minute. My typing these words is just surreal. Limbaugh is dead.

Before I begin, this is not a tragedy. She was 14 years old and had lived a long and happy life. Nor was she a person. This moment in Karla and I’s lives does not begin to compare to what thousands of people across this world will go through today when they lose a parent, a spouse, a child or a sibling.. But.. But..

But, with the exception of just a few days over the past almost 15 years, I have seen her, petted her and played with her. She wasn’t a human, but I liked her a lot better than most of the humans I meet. Karla and I were given Limbaugh four months before she and I were married. I moved from my parent’s house and into our apartment in 1994 while Karla stayed at her home. I had never lived by myself before and it was comforting to have Limbaugh there with me, as I was never alone. Karla and I shared custody of Limbaugh until Karla moved in after we were married. We became a family and Limbaugh has been there through every single step along the way. My graduation from college. An impromptu pre-bachelor party at the apartment where she ate my dear friend Chad’s wallet and ate a cigar. Limbaugh and I lost the deposit in one unfortunate tennis ball throwing incident that shattered a light fixture just days after we moved in. When I graduated law school, Limbaugh didn't treat me any different, she just wanted me to feed her, play with her and pet her. When Karla and I moved to Coalgate, Limbaugh came right along with us and adapted beautifully to the new surroundings and she corralled armadillos, goats, kittens, ducks and she “killed” many many possums. When I quit my comfortable job at the DA’s Office to open my own practice, Limbaugh displayed a brown eyed confidence that Karla and I would continue to take care of her in the manner to which she had become accustomed, and so we did. Although Karla convinced me that we should get a dog, Limbaugh became mine and she wanted to be where ever I was. Even in her last days of blindness, she knew where I was and wanted to be in the same room with me. She couldn’t see me, but she still watched my every move. She outlived five cats and seven fish and even in times of uncertainty, she was the one constant in Karla and I’s lives. We loved her like family and we miss her. In short, she was my friend.

This is not a tragedy, but it certainly hurts like one. She wasn’t a person, but we certainly treated her like one and it was almost as if she wouldn’t settle for anything less. I’ve been numb for the past few hours. I sat with her in her last minutes of life and then for a few minutes afterwards before I went in and told Karla, and then began the painful task of burying her. As I type this, the first tears are beginning to fall. I haven’t yet allowed myself to cry, because I don’t know when I will stop. The pain of the living does not negate their responsibility to the dead and this is the last thing I have to do before I begin to cry. She was a dog, but to Karla and I, she was so much more, one of the biggest parts of our lives and her death has left a stinging sense of loss and an immense hole that will take time to get over.

I will miss you Limbaugh. I will miss your confidence in Karla and I to take care of you. I will miss coming home to someone that is glad to see us. I will miss your defiance, your attitude and your destructiveness. I will miss the feeling that you owned us, not the other way around. I will miss the “baugh”, a cut that originated with you and will die with you. I will miss that on your sickest day, you were happy that we were home. I will miss bread pills and eye drops, barking at the neighbors and fighting over things on the floor. I will miss the reason for my name trialdawg. Finally, I will miss the looks you gave us, even when you couldn’t see us, dog treats even when you did something wrong and the best dog I’ve ever had.




Karla and I miss you Limbaugh. Rest in peace old friend.




We love you...

Trialdawg and KJ.

Play it again Sam!

I've heard all week that Sam Bradford would turn pro. He had many reasons to turn pro, almost 15 million reasons, but ultimately they weren't enough. I've always said that loving what we do is much more important than money. I understand his decision. I loved college. I loved every part of it. While I wouldn't trade the life I have now for anything, I have the fondest memories of college and I am glad that I got to enjoy all of them. Those years have made each subsequent year that much better. There is plenty of time to grow up Sam, enjoy class, enjoy the lifestyle and enjoy the sport of football. In short, play it again Sam, I'll see you September.

Trialdawg.

Life In Pajama Pants

Karla and I took the previous week off and it has been a good one. I have left the house a total of three times and my uniform has been a pair of pajama pants and hideous house shoes. I did not intend to create a fashion trend with this outfit, it was just something comfortable that I enjoy wearing. For the first time in my life, I have a beard. I made a commitment to not shave over this vacation, and it will remain in place until I come back from Miami. I do feel a little self conscious about it because I am the only one that seems to notice. When I complete my beard, pajama pants and house shoes ensemble with an old hoodie, I have to be careful about going outside because my outfit also seems to be the same one mental patients wear. I worry that a rubber truck will drive up the house and take me to a nice quiet hospital where I’ll be taught to crochet with rubber implements, encouraged to sit in a circle with strangers and sip coffee out of a styrofoam cup while I am directed to talk about my problems. I am also concerned because my dear sister Eva actually sees people in the store in which she works wearing my exact outfit. These people led her to create the phrase “those are pajama pants, not life pants”. I do promise to eventually shave, don a pair of jeans and put some damn shoes on, but for now I am enjoying my Howard Hughes phase. In just a few days, Karla and I will be on a flight to Miami and I guarantee I won’t be wearing my pajama pants on the plane. The house shoes may be another story though.

Have a good day..

Trialdawg.

2009- A Resolution

As the new year descends upon us, many have written about what happened over the past 365 days, and I think that a worthy pursuit. I used to do just that, but 2008 doesn’t seem particularly worthy of reflection. I don’t know if it is my age, or a situational oddity exclusive to this particular new year. In a year of war, recession, and year that saw more than a few lose all that they had and more than a few of those few lose their hopes, their dreams and their very future, my trivial advances and good fortune don’t seem well placed here.

Instead, I simply want to wish each of you a belated happy new year. I hope you will join me in a resolution, a promise to ourselves to do better. Do not let the enemies of procrastination, despair and cynicism defeat that solemn promise to ourselves to do better. Do not bog down in the banality of trivia, allow hatred and greed to cloud our vision of a better us. Let us all make a decision to offer a helping hand to those in need and never to be shy about asking for that helping hand if we need it. Let us win this game of life with a happy heart and shake the hands of our adversary with a smile on our faces. Lets conduct ourselves as ladies and gentlemen, not because our parents taught us to do it that way, but because it is the right thing to do. Let us take better care of ourselves, because even if we hate who we are, somebody out there loves us and would be irrevocably broken if we weren’t around. Let us live each day thankful that we have this day to live and let us be mindful that nobody gets out of life alive. Let us be as quick to love and praise as we are to hate and criticize. Let us play the game instead of sitting idle on the sidelines. Let us do rather than be. Let us not be a country of nay-sayers awash in a sea of hope.

I believe that America’s best days are still ahead of us. We the people, you and I, are the only ones who can make America what we want it to be, but we have to do it together. So join me this 2009, stand shoulder to shoulder with me and pick up the weapon of your choice be it a gun, a pen, a song book, a law book, the Constitution, the Bible or the Koran and lets march forward behind a new President. Lets get better! Lets DO better! That my friends, will make 2009 a year worth remembering.

Take care, be well and do good work.

Trialdawg.