Oh to be in Martinsville, now that spring is here....

While my body spends the weekend in Oklahoma, my heart and mind are in Martinsville, Virginia. Have a great time friends. Enjoy the view of the greatest short track in America, a throwback that is too damned uncommon in today's NASCAR. Enjoy the rubber in your hair, the fuel vapor in your eyes and the smell of burning brakes. I can practically taste those great hot dogs from here..

Trialdawg

A Simple Post From a Simple Man

This post is as easy as 1,2,3...

1.) If you don't watch Dirty Jobs, you should. The show is interesting and you might learn something.

2.) You should also watch because the show is really funny.

3.) The bloopers are even funnier, as evidenced below. The glass wall kills me every single time.



Where is that naked twister game?

Trialdawg

A Walking Tour of Dallas

KJ and I spent last weekend in Dallas with the Bee. I had planned to catch the Mavericks while I was in town, but I missed the game. There has been too much going on in my head over the past few weeks and so on Saturday, I eschewed the college basketball games and took a walk around Dallas to clear my head. It was fun to grab a camera and just take some pictures. Here are a few


This is a picture of Dealey Plaza where President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963. This was taken from the south east Corner of the plaza. The grassy knoll is on the left side of the picture.

The south side of the School Book Depository Building.

The red building is the old Dallas County Courthouse, the modern white building in the background is the new Criminal Courts Building. I like the old one better.

Artistic, don't you think? OK, maybe not.


I walked around for hours and then decided to grab a bite to eat. This place has the best crab legs around.



The east facade of Union Station with Reunion Tower and our Hotel in the background.

I took over 100 pictures on Saturday, and learned something new about a city I've spent a lot of time in. It was a great weekend, I relaxed and I got to spend some down time with KJ and one of my favorite people to hang out with. I can't wait to do it again.

Taking ass and Kicking Names

Or Something like that. We are in trial mode and I can't remember when I've been this fired up, stressed out and sleep deprived. I also discovered that I am FAT today and so its time to reign myself in, after the trial and exercise off about 40 pounds. My thanks to Karla for helping get us prepared. Its time to get it on in just nine hours. We've been working since 8:30 AM so its time to chill for a few minutes, watch some dirty jobs and sleep for six hours. This week has been terrible for Karla and I, for alot of reasons, but its nice to have you friends who care..

A very tired Trialdawg.

The Other Woman

It may come as a shock, but I have another woman in my life. She and I have been going on for almost a year now and I am absolutely ashamed, but that shame will not make me give her up. When I first saw her, I was intrigued, but not necessarily attracted. As the affair dragged into the summer it became a full blown lust. The first thing I noticed about her was her curves and her sexy lines. As much as Karla will hate to hear this, I love to give her a bath and run my hands across her sexy curves. I won't use her real name, but her nickname is "Sally". At first, she was much too small for me to fit inside, but as we worked it out together, we are now one. There is nothing as exciting as being inside her and starting out slow and gradually going faster and faster until she roars her approval while music blares in the background. It is pure bliss. Recently, so many people have seen us together, that I must now go public. I am so sorry honey....



but I am love with Sally the Solistice. I love your car.. please forgive me... What did you all think it was?? Dirty Minds!!

Hehehehe I am just giddy

We've got SNOW, lots and lots of SNOW coming our way. I just can't wait. Sorry for all of the redaction. Some of the stuff I have on my laptop is proprietary and I don't want other lawyers to know how I do what I do.

Decisions Decisions....

Its car time around here again. I am considering keeping my trusty pickup once its paid for in a few months and buying an additional car for fun. The Ford Shelby GT500 is a leading contender. This car looks mean and is bad fast not to mention that it appeals to my old school sensibilities. Its a throw back and reminds me of those great old Mach 1 Mustangs from the 70s. Here is the latests version, just imagine it in black with white racing stripes.


I am also considering my first Cadillac. This car appeals to me because its sporty, and would be comfortable on long trips. The amenities are top notch and I've always wanted to own a Cadillac, just once in my life. Imagine the model pictured below in Black.

Finally, I could simply go with a new truck, and sell the old one. I am not sure what I think about the new 2009 Ford Lariats. Here is a picture of one


and a picture of the interior, which I think is pretty kick ass.


There is an added bonus to option 3 and that is I'll have more money for one of these..

I've researched boats for the past year and this is the one that I am buying. It's something my Dad and Brother and I can fish from, it has a cover for KJ and my fairer friends. Its perfect for the WHUclan when the boys are older. Sparx and WHU and I have enough room for a poker table and a wet bar and finally its an updated version of my grandfather's boat on which I spent every summer as a kid. Its perfect and I can't wait to get it ordered. I'll let yall know what I decide car wise, I'm sure that you're all just RIVETED!

The Science Behind the Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger

The previous Blog reminded me of something about which I have wondered for quite some time. Pardon me while I imitate Wikipedia for a moment; Cialis is a pharmaceutical product designed to compete with the existing and more popular Viagra, produced by Pfizer. Both products are dedicated to creating or enhancing the male erection for those amongst us who are unable to achieve a sufficient erection by their own design or on their own volition. Viagra is designed to work quickly over a short period of time, a more natural life span of the adult erection. Cialis turns the male into a teenager again, capable of marathon sex and dry humping everybody and everything in sight, including women, men and the occasional small animal with his new found erection. I am sure everyone has grown tired of the warnings which accompany every prescription drug commercial. A typical warning goes like this, “although this product will cure your every ailment and make you feel great, there is a possibility that you may experience hives, acne, dry heaves, strong urges to gamble, kill animals and molest small children, male lactation, purple poo, anal fissures, loss of eye sight, numb hands, numb feet, loss of blood, public urination, projectile vomiting, excessive flatulence, shitting a Yugo, toilet surfing, post mature ejaculation, and instantaneous death during the use of this product.” While Viagra has resorted to commandeering the songs of dead kings, Cialis has turned a warning into its selling point “If you experience a four hour erection, consult your physician”. I can think of many things I would do with a four hour erection, but consulting my physician does not make that list.

One more thing about these commercials. Both products warn that they may cause a “significant drop in blood pressure”. This warning is not only a helpful tip, but provides an insight into both the biology and psychology of the male human being. Men are simple creatures. We are not that far from the cave on a fundamental level. We like breasts, cars, trucks, playing in the mud and dirt, and we enjoy our own erections, sometimes to our detriment. The human body is an amazing machine and it runs on blood. Should blood fail to circulate to a particular area of the body, that area will begin to die within a few minutes and permanent damage can occur. This medical certainty explains brain damage and the loss of limbs, but also helps explain why men act the way that we do in certain situations. You see, the male erection robs the brain of the necessary blood for us to function properly. This medical certainty explains why when we see bare breasts, and even cleavage we lose the ability to form complete sentences, why we will occasionally drool on ourselves and miss our mouths while trying to feed ourselves. To quote a phrase, God gave us a brain and a penis, and not enough blood to run both at the same time. ITS JUST SCIENCE. If you are a woman reading this, I hope you are finally able to fully understand the handicap that men labor under at least 45 times a day. If you are a man reading this, forget how men are supposed to act in this new culture and join with me in celebrating our power, and our failures, but always remember that there is biological reason for both.