I was reflecting this week about a time when a law school buddy and I were in law school and were in a little law office in Oklahoma City learning how to do a property record search at 5th and Kerr Street, just down the street from the Oklahoma County Courthouse. Kerr street is one way and so we had to go up a couple of blocks to Harvey street to get back on the street the right way to get a parking place. We hit Harvey at 7:45 AM and drove west to fifth street to make the turn south. A little over an hour later, we heard the explosion and felt the concussion. I have never told that to a soul, not even KJ. My friend and I made a pact that we wouldn't tell our family how close we were to the explosion. He had a new wife, and KJ and I were newly married and I didn't want to worry her or my family, but we were too damn close. That was ten years ago today and to this day, I can still remember how that explosion sounded and what it felt like and I will probably remember it until the day I die.
I wrote the preceding paragraph a few years ago and it seemed appropriate this week to add it to this blog. Although it is a different year, the sentiment is still the same and the memories are just as vivid.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
The Fancy Funky Fandango
Someone reminded me that I will be 38 years old this year. That same someone told me that I don’t act that old. I thanked her for the compliment and as I walked away I had a chance to think about what she’d said. She hadn’t said that I didn’t LOOK 38 years old, but that I didn’t act like it. I am still fatuously grateful for the compliment, even if it wasn’t the one I thought she gave me. As a side note, she later explained that she meant that I don’t seem that old and I suppose that could include my actions as well as my looks. For the record, I don’t feel 38 years old, and I sure as hell don’t act like it. I think I am ready to let my twenties go though. They were very good to me, but I look forward to bigger and better things in the coming years. Age is just a number anyway. You are only as old as you think you are and while I wanted to be a grown up, even as a kid, I never wanted to get old. That feeling is not shared by my contemporaries.
I have friends and other folks I know that approach me every few weeks, their hands clasped together in a double fist so tight their knuckles are white while they wear an expression of urgency and expectation on their faces. They can’t wait to tell me what their new malady is. Lord, its leper colony out there. One guy insists on telling me the frequency with which his erection flags and his concern that he has a low sperm count. He asked me if this had ever happened to me (he is 3 years younger than I). I told him that sperm count and erections are completely unrelated and that my payload, and the delivery system (everything from the ICBM to the Minuteman), have always worked just fine. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when I told him this. In fact, a week later he came to me and said that he thought he was having chest pains and went to the hospital where they told him he had gas, gave him some pepto and sent him home. Another guy thought his colon was blocked because he had been constipated for three days. Another colleague of mine can hear about a rare disease on television which affects only the Australian Bushmen and within a week he will have developed symptoms which mimic with precision the Australian Bushmen disease, this despite the fact that he is neither Australian nor a Bushman. I am convinced that when he does die, his last words will be “See, I told you so”.
The point of all this is my confusion at these people’s disappointment when they found out that nothing is wrong with them. I am convinced that it isn’t age that is killing people, it is the stress on these people from worrying about what is going to kill them. To that end, here are a few tricks I have developed to combat stress.
(1.) Dance.. I don’t mean the formal dancing you’ve seen taught in college nor even the rhythmic shaking that one would see a club. No no, I am talking about MY dance, which I am prone to bust out at any time. Here is how it is done: Step 1: Squat down so that the top half of your body is parallel to ground and your rear end is stuck out and slightly up, your legs should be bent at the knees (unless of course you’ve figured out some other way to get into this position without doing so). Step 2. Your arms should be slightly bent at the elbows (unless of course you have unhealed compound fractures and then you may bend your arms at any point you choose) Step 3. The music should now start in your head, audible music is acceptable, but is not nearly as much fun. Step 4. Ok, start with you legs, straighten and then re-bend first your right leg and then your left leg so that your body is gently rocking from side to side, simultaneously work your butt up and down, continue while at the same time punching the air first with you left hand and then your right hand at the end of every third punch, do a windmill with alternating arms and alternating directions, continue.. at the same time, bob your head from front to back, left to right and every 4th revolution stick out your tongue and auto-rotate your head like the helicopter pilots do. Finally, if you’re not too dizzy by this point, spin your entire body around every 60 seconds, pause and then place each hand on your knees and do the “crossover” three times. Repeat as necessary. I call this dance the Fancy Funky Fandango. You get extra points if you do it in a set of Kocha Shells and a loin cloth.
(2) Sing. But don’t just sing a song, just snippets of random lyrics to the tune of an entirely unrelated song. For example combine Gavin DeGraw’s “I’m In Love With a Girl”, The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” and Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” to form “I’m in love with a girl in White Satin, Long legs and burgandy lips.” Sing it to the tune of 2 Pac’s “California Love” just for fun.
And finally,
(3) Exercise. I don’t do this as often as I should. Just for fun, moonwalk around the track. Or play a prank. My favorite is to put olive oil on the weight bars.
So there you have it, my tips for combating stress. We all need to laugh a little and at times, we need to laugh a lot, even at ourselves. Now get out there and have some fun!
Take care, be well and do good work.
Trialdawg.
I have friends and other folks I know that approach me every few weeks, their hands clasped together in a double fist so tight their knuckles are white while they wear an expression of urgency and expectation on their faces. They can’t wait to tell me what their new malady is. Lord, its leper colony out there. One guy insists on telling me the frequency with which his erection flags and his concern that he has a low sperm count. He asked me if this had ever happened to me (he is 3 years younger than I). I told him that sperm count and erections are completely unrelated and that my payload, and the delivery system (everything from the ICBM to the Minuteman), have always worked just fine. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when I told him this. In fact, a week later he came to me and said that he thought he was having chest pains and went to the hospital where they told him he had gas, gave him some pepto and sent him home. Another guy thought his colon was blocked because he had been constipated for three days. Another colleague of mine can hear about a rare disease on television which affects only the Australian Bushmen and within a week he will have developed symptoms which mimic with precision the Australian Bushmen disease, this despite the fact that he is neither Australian nor a Bushman. I am convinced that when he does die, his last words will be “See, I told you so”.
The point of all this is my confusion at these people’s disappointment when they found out that nothing is wrong with them. I am convinced that it isn’t age that is killing people, it is the stress on these people from worrying about what is going to kill them. To that end, here are a few tricks I have developed to combat stress.
(1.) Dance.. I don’t mean the formal dancing you’ve seen taught in college nor even the rhythmic shaking that one would see a club. No no, I am talking about MY dance, which I am prone to bust out at any time. Here is how it is done: Step 1: Squat down so that the top half of your body is parallel to ground and your rear end is stuck out and slightly up, your legs should be bent at the knees (unless of course you’ve figured out some other way to get into this position without doing so). Step 2. Your arms should be slightly bent at the elbows (unless of course you have unhealed compound fractures and then you may bend your arms at any point you choose) Step 3. The music should now start in your head, audible music is acceptable, but is not nearly as much fun. Step 4. Ok, start with you legs, straighten and then re-bend first your right leg and then your left leg so that your body is gently rocking from side to side, simultaneously work your butt up and down, continue while at the same time punching the air first with you left hand and then your right hand at the end of every third punch, do a windmill with alternating arms and alternating directions, continue.. at the same time, bob your head from front to back, left to right and every 4th revolution stick out your tongue and auto-rotate your head like the helicopter pilots do. Finally, if you’re not too dizzy by this point, spin your entire body around every 60 seconds, pause and then place each hand on your knees and do the “crossover” three times. Repeat as necessary. I call this dance the Fancy Funky Fandango. You get extra points if you do it in a set of Kocha Shells and a loin cloth.
(2) Sing. But don’t just sing a song, just snippets of random lyrics to the tune of an entirely unrelated song. For example combine Gavin DeGraw’s “I’m In Love With a Girl”, The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” and Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” to form “I’m in love with a girl in White Satin, Long legs and burgandy lips.” Sing it to the tune of 2 Pac’s “California Love” just for fun.
And finally,
(3) Exercise. I don’t do this as often as I should. Just for fun, moonwalk around the track. Or play a prank. My favorite is to put olive oil on the weight bars.
So there you have it, my tips for combating stress. We all need to laugh a little and at times, we need to laugh a lot, even at ourselves. Now get out there and have some fun!
Take care, be well and do good work.
Trialdawg.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Whoa, You Don't Know The Shape I'm In..
Its been awhile since I’ve posted anything, a product of a complicated professional life and illness in my personal life. Things were fine until I came back from a few days of R&R. I didn’t feel sick, just a little lethargic. I had a dull pain behind one of my eyes and a general feeling of listlessness. A short time later my throat began to hurt. I’ll spare you dear readers the details, but the pressure finally ended this week when a small placenta came out of my face along with part of my brain. I don’t think it was anything important, but I can’t seem to remember my primary colors anymore and simple arithmetic is a chore. I also can’t talk good no more. I’ve got a lot of things saved up from my three week hiatus, but I’ll ease into it.. Stay tuned gentle readers.
Take care, be well and do good work.
Trialdawg.
P.S. My thanks to The Great Levon Helm and The Band for the title of this blog.
Take care, be well and do good work.
Trialdawg.
P.S. My thanks to The Great Levon Helm and The Band for the title of this blog.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Playing Hookey
I'm spending a few days playing hooky in Oklahoma City attending the Big XII Championship for both the men and the women. Karla and I have been through two and a half days of constant basketball and it has been a blast. We saw Kansas and Kansas State get beat this morning and now we are about to walk back to the arena to see Oklahoma play Oklahoma State and Missouri play Texas Tech this evening. I have never been prouder of my home state as I have been this week. Oklahoma City really knows how to put on an event of this magnitude and the atmosphere downtown is incredible. Karla and I have got our red gear on and are ready to cheer our Sooners on to victory.
Later.
Trialdawg.
Later.
Trialdawg.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Karla
Last week was a long one for Karla and I, but I am convinced that it was longer for Karla. We defended a woman charged with what amounted to attempted first degree murder. I use “we” because she was as much a part of this case as I was. Almost everybody wonders what Karla’s job is, and I simply say "she works with me" because I can’t put a single label on what she does. Every time she and I try one of these things, I marvel at how different she is from every other woman I’ve ever met. I silently laugh because everybody in the outside world wants to talk earnestly about music, relationships, cars, homes, famous people, trends, fashion and everyday life to her as if that is the sum total of her existence. Few people have a clue what she actually does or how brilliantly she does it. The truth is, she can do ANYTHING and she is brilliant at it.
I’ll start with what was on the line last week. A woman accused of shooting her second husband in the back, with a .12 gauge shotgun. A woman, in her forties, facing a life sentence. A woman with two children she bore for a father who has since died. Two children, whose mother could go to prison for the rest of their lives. A woman who has never had a break in her entire life. A woman that every single person in this county bet against. A case with terrible facts, little hope of success and the scorn of all concerned. A woman that every person thought deserved prison, except a jury of twelve people.
Karla took this cause to heart, just like every other cause we accept. We tried this case with a friend of mine, one of the best trial lawyers I’ve ever seen. He and I marveled at all of things that Karla can do. She worked with us on strategy and came up with the WINNING strategy. She organized a trial notebook that helped us find everything at exactly the right time. She created trial exhibits that made even the State’s experts and law enforcement officers say “wow, where did you get those?” With all of the money and resources the State of Oklahoma has, Karla outperformed them at our kitchen table for less than $100.00. She sat in the Courtroom and listened to every single witness, took notes and gave us advice. She argued with passion to me that we had to do something to make this jury see things from our client's point of view, and when I didn’t have anyone to testify to that point of view, she helped me get testimony from the State's witnesses that made the jury see our client's point of view.In short, Karla helped win this case. Our client went home after a not guilty verdict.
A superhero is someone or something that saves lives. Karla helped save this woman’s life and because of her, her children have their mother back. As good as Karla is, she never brags, never asks for credit for anything and she never really tells people what she does. There is nobody else that I’d rather go to trial with, there is nobody better at everything she does and nobody looks as good as she does doing it. She is a wife, a sports nut, travel companion, math whiz, cheerleader, Ryan Newman fan, comedienne, paralegal, a fiend of all things OU, jury consultant, graphic designer, photographer, interior decorator, concert buddy, honorary trialdawg and my best friend. She is THE Superwoman.... yes she is.
Love ya babe.
Trialdawg.
I’ll start with what was on the line last week. A woman accused of shooting her second husband in the back, with a .12 gauge shotgun. A woman, in her forties, facing a life sentence. A woman with two children she bore for a father who has since died. Two children, whose mother could go to prison for the rest of their lives. A woman who has never had a break in her entire life. A woman that every single person in this county bet against. A case with terrible facts, little hope of success and the scorn of all concerned. A woman that every person thought deserved prison, except a jury of twelve people.
Karla took this cause to heart, just like every other cause we accept. We tried this case with a friend of mine, one of the best trial lawyers I’ve ever seen. He and I marveled at all of things that Karla can do. She worked with us on strategy and came up with the WINNING strategy. She organized a trial notebook that helped us find everything at exactly the right time. She created trial exhibits that made even the State’s experts and law enforcement officers say “wow, where did you get those?” With all of the money and resources the State of Oklahoma has, Karla outperformed them at our kitchen table for less than $100.00. She sat in the Courtroom and listened to every single witness, took notes and gave us advice. She argued with passion to me that we had to do something to make this jury see things from our client's point of view, and when I didn’t have anyone to testify to that point of view, she helped me get testimony from the State's witnesses that made the jury see our client's point of view.In short, Karla helped win this case. Our client went home after a not guilty verdict.
A superhero is someone or something that saves lives. Karla helped save this woman’s life and because of her, her children have their mother back. As good as Karla is, she never brags, never asks for credit for anything and she never really tells people what she does. There is nobody else that I’d rather go to trial with, there is nobody better at everything she does and nobody looks as good as she does doing it. She is a wife, a sports nut, travel companion, math whiz, cheerleader, Ryan Newman fan, comedienne, paralegal, a fiend of all things OU, jury consultant, graphic designer, photographer, interior decorator, concert buddy, honorary trialdawg and my best friend. She is THE Superwoman.... yes she is.
Love ya babe.
Trialdawg.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Ruminations on President's Day
Why do we celebrate President’s Day? I suppose it is to honor all the men who have held the job. I looked earnestly for a parade or rally of some sort, but to no avail. I was always under the impression that if you had a day off, you were obligated to attend a parade. I found no parade or rally to attend, so I am going to do the next best thing. I am going to dress up as my favorite president and parade around my own home. I have always liked William Henry Harrison because I think he did a lot for the presidency. He gave the longest inaugural address in history, in a cold rain and died a month later from pneumonia. All Presidents following him learned two simple rules for inaugural protocol. Keep it short and put a damned coat on. Who knows how many Presidential lives he saved by his selfless acts. So today, I will don a shirt and tie, sans coat and hat and cough a lot. I will ramble incessantly about the Whig party and what a failure Van Buren was and when my wife complains, I will remind her that upon my death, she will receive $25,000.00 cash and free postage for life.
Happy Presidents Day.
Trialdawg
Happy Presidents Day.
Trialdawg
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Balance
I write the following entry for myself, but the readers are welcomed to read along.
I’ve worked hard over the past few months at my mantra to do better, in everything. The mantra has had some unexpected and unintended consequences. Time has taught me that I suffer from a tunnel vision which seems to focus on one problem with laser-like precision at the expense of all others. I’ve learned that when I commit to something, I do it with my whole heart, body and soul and leave little time for much else. I guess I’ve always been that way, even as a child. I’ve never been a juggler or much of a multi-tasker as I felt I was shortchanging the true task at hand. That focus has served me well at times of great stress in both my personal and professional life, but it has also been a great disservice to those things that weren’t important enough for that great focus. As a result, I’ve been great for a time at many things, a husband, a lawyer, a son and a friend as the circumstances required. On the other hand, my performance in all of those areas over time has been mediocre and at times, an abject failure. When I get into office mode, I suck as a friend, as a son and I really suck as a husband. When I am being a great husband, I am downright neglectful of my practice and the good people that pay our bills.
I am working very hard this year to try to find some balance in my life. I want to continue to practice the best law that I can because that work feeds my soul and puts dinner on our table, but I don’t want to look up one day and realize that I am alone and have pushed every single person away to do what I love to do. I want to spend meaningful time with my wife. I want to hang out with my mom and dad while they are still here instead regretting all the things I should have done after they are gone. I want to spend more time with my brother who makes me feel like a normal person. I want to be a better friend to the friends I have and I want to be more than just a Godparent that sends gifts and money. For the first time in my life, I am a little frightened of what lies ahead because the last two months have been trial and error in pursuit of the balance that I must find. I am afraid that I’ll never find it, but I won’t stop trying. To my friends, thanks for being my friend, even when I’m unfriendly, to my clients, thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the faith you place in Karla and I. To my family, I hope to see you all a lot more. I’ve got a lot to tell Karla, but that will happen over a Valentine’s Day dinner that will mean a lot more than the gifts we’ll give one another.
Be well everybody and Happy Valentines Day.
Trialdawg.
I’ve worked hard over the past few months at my mantra to do better, in everything. The mantra has had some unexpected and unintended consequences. Time has taught me that I suffer from a tunnel vision which seems to focus on one problem with laser-like precision at the expense of all others. I’ve learned that when I commit to something, I do it with my whole heart, body and soul and leave little time for much else. I guess I’ve always been that way, even as a child. I’ve never been a juggler or much of a multi-tasker as I felt I was shortchanging the true task at hand. That focus has served me well at times of great stress in both my personal and professional life, but it has also been a great disservice to those things that weren’t important enough for that great focus. As a result, I’ve been great for a time at many things, a husband, a lawyer, a son and a friend as the circumstances required. On the other hand, my performance in all of those areas over time has been mediocre and at times, an abject failure. When I get into office mode, I suck as a friend, as a son and I really suck as a husband. When I am being a great husband, I am downright neglectful of my practice and the good people that pay our bills.
I am working very hard this year to try to find some balance in my life. I want to continue to practice the best law that I can because that work feeds my soul and puts dinner on our table, but I don’t want to look up one day and realize that I am alone and have pushed every single person away to do what I love to do. I want to spend meaningful time with my wife. I want to hang out with my mom and dad while they are still here instead regretting all the things I should have done after they are gone. I want to spend more time with my brother who makes me feel like a normal person. I want to be a better friend to the friends I have and I want to be more than just a Godparent that sends gifts and money. For the first time in my life, I am a little frightened of what lies ahead because the last two months have been trial and error in pursuit of the balance that I must find. I am afraid that I’ll never find it, but I won’t stop trying. To my friends, thanks for being my friend, even when I’m unfriendly, to my clients, thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the faith you place in Karla and I. To my family, I hope to see you all a lot more. I’ve got a lot to tell Karla, but that will happen over a Valentine’s Day dinner that will mean a lot more than the gifts we’ll give one another.
Be well everybody and Happy Valentines Day.
Trialdawg.
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