The Trialdawg Files, A Life On The Run

Jacksons, Romans, Countrymen.. Lend Me Your Ears!!

2009-07-02T09:08:00.000-07:00

Phillip Graham said that journalism is the first draft of history. He was correct as most historians use newspapers as the starting point for the analysis of the past. I’ve watched with interest the coverage of the events in Iran, the debate over health care and the unexpected death of Michael Jackson. I understand that Michael Jackson was, and will always be a cultural phenomenon and icon. I understand the importance of pop culture as it relates to our larger world, but I can’t help but think that the media has missed an opportunity to seize on the public’s renewed interest in current events in failing to spoon feed a little analysis to the general public of two events that will very probably shape all of our lives for a long time. And what of the historians twenty years from now. Where will they start in their analysis of the events of our time? Will the first draft of those historical events come from blogs and tabloid television? Or will the dearth of reporting of the major events that are sure to affect our legacy be viewed as the very reason for our decline as a people and become the main point of analysis for historians? One cannot be sure until it is written. We do know that the Roman Civilization devolved into a republic of the ignorant. We also know that they failed. George Santayana said that those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it. I sincerely hope that our country learns from the history of other great civilizations and pays close attention. We cannot all become pop culture savants awash in a sea of political ignorance lest we fall as the Romans did.

Trialdawg

Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

Summer Break!

2009-06-28T17:42:00.000-07:00

As a boy, I looked forward each year to the extravagance of summer. I would sit in class and mark time while my mind wandered the trails and streams of my grandmothers home, rode my bicycle up and down my county road and fished the lakes and ponds of my youth. For over twenty years, my body and mind was accustomed to the mid-year break that is summer and even though my school days are long gone, I still have a twinge of that lustful urge to squander an afternoon in the movie theater while the asphalt boils under the summer sun. We swear to ourselves that we will not get old, that we will not become our parents and then it happens. We wake up one June and forget that this month used to be one of rest, reflection and even fun.

Not me, not this year. It has been a long six months for Karla and I and we are out of here for a week. Karla and I decided long ago that life is too short to work twelve hour days and never take the time to enjoy the fruits of our labor. I encourage all of you to take the time this summer to enjoy the fruits of your labor. Be kind to yourselves and celebrate the very good things that have happened to you over the past six months. Karla and I are off to Milwaukee to enjoy some good live music, baseball games, Lake Michigan and some of the very best people the planet has to offer. The bell has rung folks and its time for recess! I'll see you all from Milwaukee!

Reflections on a week past.

2009-05-03T14:37:00.000-07:00

I look forward to the week ahead because it isn’t as full as the previous one. I have a birthday Tuesday, but this one doesn’t feel as good as last year’s. Last year I was preparing to go to Baltimore, but this year I have no such plans. Perhaps next year. We are headed to Milwaukee next month, a trip that we missed last year so it isn’t as if Karla and I won’t have a vacation this summer. We have a trial to finish first and then it is out to Milwaukee, the land of lakes, concerts, beer, bratwurst and most importantly, Austins. A week in Milwaukee is as good as two weeks almost anywhere else. Karla and I come back bloated, hung-over, tired and full of memories and smiles which last us until the end of the year. Good people those Austins.

I haven’t had as much time as I like to keep up with the news this week as it is almost always entertaining. I have watched with some interest this swine flu business and I marvel at both the panic that folks can whip themselves into and the importance the executive branch thinks it has in these matters. The media thought that Joe Biden’s comments about staying home during the swine flu “pandemic” would turn us into a nation of shut ins. They shouldn’t have worried, I don’t think anyone listens to Joe Biden very much. I think he needs to go to Dick Cheney’s “undisclosed location” and wait it out there, far away from the news cameras that he loves to make a fool of himself in front of. I did find it amusing that President Obama tried to explain the economic crisis to each of us as if we were the intelligent populace that we strive to be, then treated us as first graders minutes later when he told us, with all manner of seriousness, that to prevent the spread of disease, we should cover our mouths when we cough and wash our hands a lot. Good advice Mr. President. My first grade teacher Ms. Taylor would be so proud.

I’ve been kind of down this week because in the midst of the insanity, David Poole, a man I admired and respected, died suddenly of a heart attack at the age of 50. David covered NASCAR for the Charlotte Observer for twenty years and also hosted a NASCAR call in show on Sirius Satellite Radio. I listened every morning and was informed and entertained without fail. He and I would correspond by email on occasion and had some pretty spirited exchanges about NASCAR rules, the history of the sport and the economic viability of its future. He was a historian at heart and wrote a fantastic book about the late Tim Richmond. I enjoyed corresponding with him, listening to his opinions and laughing like hell at his outlook on life. The morning drive will never be the same and my email box will always be a little less full.

I had the pleasure of speaking to a few University students this week about the law and lawyering on Thursday. It wasn’t as much a speech as it was a discussion. I went out and told them who I was and what I did for a living and gave them a few war stories and then opened the floor up to questions. I was surprised to receive questions at such a rapid pace and in such a quantity that there wasn’t time to answer them all. As I listened to their questions, it was very easy to see myself in those chairs. They are now right where I was fifteen years ago. Full of optimism, excitement and terror at what I thought lay ahead. I explained that ours is a stressful profession and that the dull and earnest ones die young. I told them that they should laugh everyday, even if they don’t feel it appropriate. I told them to know the law without error, have impeccable ethics and be a ham, at all costs. I told them to be the jokesters in a world of straight men and women and most importantly, be remembered.

Finally, I heard late Thursday that Justice Souter will retire this summer from the United States Supreme Court. I have enjoyed his theory of jurisprudence over the years, even more so in the past five. He is not a majority writer as much as a Ginsberg or Scalia, but has a mind that I admire. I guess we’ll get to see President Obama’s theory of Legal Pragmatism much earlier on the Supreme Court than any of us expected. I will be interested to watch how a “result oriented” nominee will interact with a majority of theorists. I think Justice Scalia is already popping Tums.

I hope that all of you have a pleasant and productive week and have a chance to drink a few of your favorite Mexican Beers on Cinco De Mayo.

Take care, be well and do good work.

Trialdawg.

Dark, Rainy Mornings Inspire Dark Prose

2009-05-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

I've spent the morning writing a short story that was totally unexpected. I can’t explain what happened, but every time I thought I was at an end, I wrote another paragraph. I started at “I was preoccupied with death at ten. I shot a rabbit in my grandmother’s backyard. The shot only wounded him. Although his eyes were exactly the same as moments before, I noticed a thin, white border around his chocolate brown iris that betrayed the calm of his wounded body. When I killed him, his eyes died before his body and he seemed at peace. I wounded him because I wanted to know what it was like to kill something. I killed him to end his suffering. The wounding sickened me, the killing empowered me. I’ve spent the rest of my life in pursuit of reconciliation.”

I developed those opening lines into the darkest and most extraordinary story I’ve ever written.

I've made no secret that I've worked steadily on a book for months now. The process has been fun because I can pretend to be an evil, sadistic bastard without actually becoming one.

Stay tuned.

Trialdawg.

Those Who Make Trouble in Their Own House will Inherit the Wind

2009-04-25T20:18:00.000-07:00

I was reflecting this week about a time when a law school buddy and I were in law school and were in a little law office in Oklahoma City learning how to do a property record search at 5th and Kerr Street, just down the street from the Oklahoma County Courthouse. Kerr street is one way and so we had to go up a couple of blocks to Harvey street to get back on the street the right way to get a parking place. We hit Harvey at 7:45 AM and drove west to fifth street to make the turn south. A little over an hour later, we heard the explosion and felt the concussion. I have never told that to a soul, not even KJ. My friend and I made a pact that we wouldn't tell our family how close we were to the explosion. He had a new wife, and KJ and I were newly married and I didn't want to worry her or my family, but we were too damn close. That was ten years ago today and to this day, I can still remember how that explosion sounded and what it felt like and I will probably remember it until the day I die.

I wrote the preceding paragraph a few years ago and it seemed appropriate this week to add it to this blog. Although it is a different year, the sentiment is still the same and the memories are just as vivid.

The Fancy Funky Fandango

2009-04-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

Someone reminded me that I will be 38 years old this year. That same someone told me that I don’t act that old. I thanked her for the compliment and as I walked away I had a chance to think about what she’d said. She hadn’t said that I didn’t LOOK 38 years old, but that I didn’t act like it. I am still fatuously grateful for the compliment, even if it wasn’t the one I thought she gave me. As a side note, she later explained that she meant that I don’t seem that old and I suppose that could include my actions as well as my looks. For the record, I don’t feel 38 years old, and I sure as hell don’t act like it. I think I am ready to let my twenties go though. They were very good to me, but I look forward to bigger and better things in the coming years. Age is just a number anyway. You are only as old as you think you are and while I wanted to be a grown up, even as a kid, I never wanted to get old. That feeling is not shared by my contemporaries.

I have friends and other folks I know that approach me every few weeks, their hands clasped together in a double fist so tight their knuckles are white while they wear an expression of urgency and expectation on their faces. They can’t wait to tell me what their new malady is. Lord, its leper colony out there. One guy insists on telling me the frequency with which his erection flags and his concern that he has a low sperm count. He asked me if this had ever happened to me (he is 3 years younger than I). I told him that sperm count and erections are completely unrelated and that my payload, and the delivery system (everything from the ICBM to the Minuteman), have always worked just fine. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when I told him this. In fact, a week later he came to me and said that he thought he was having chest pains and went to the hospital where they told him he had gas, gave him some pepto and sent him home. Another guy thought his colon was blocked because he had been constipated for three days. Another colleague of mine can hear about a rare disease on television which affects only the Australian Bushmen and within a week he will have developed symptoms which mimic with precision the Australian Bushmen disease, this despite the fact that he is neither Australian nor a Bushman. I am convinced that when he does die, his last words will be “See, I told you so”.

The point of all this is my confusion at these people’s disappointment when they found out that nothing is wrong with them. I am convinced that it isn’t age that is killing people, it is the stress on these people from worrying about what is going to kill them. To that end, here are a few tricks I have developed to combat stress.

(1.) Dance.. I don’t mean the formal dancing you’ve seen taught in college nor even the rhythmic shaking that one would see a club. No no, I am talking about MY dance, which I am prone to bust out at any time. Here is how it is done: Step 1: Squat down so that the top half of your body is parallel to ground and your rear end is stuck out and slightly up, your legs should be bent at the knees (unless of course you’ve figured out some other way to get into this position without doing so). Step 2. Your arms should be slightly bent at the elbows (unless of course you have unhealed compound fractures and then you may bend your arms at any point you choose) Step 3. The music should now start in your head, audible music is acceptable, but is not nearly as much fun. Step 4. Ok, start with you legs, straighten and then re-bend first your right leg and then your left leg so that your body is gently rocking from side to side, simultaneously work your butt up and down, continue while at the same time punching the air first with you left hand and then your right hand at the end of every third punch, do a windmill with alternating arms and alternating directions, continue.. at the same time, bob your head from front to back, left to right and every 4th revolution stick out your tongue and auto-rotate your head like the helicopter pilots do. Finally, if you’re not too dizzy by this point, spin your entire body around every 60 seconds, pause and then place each hand on your knees and do the “crossover” three times. Repeat as necessary. I call this dance the Fancy Funky Fandango. You get extra points if you do it in a set of Kocha Shells and a loin cloth.

(2) Sing. But don’t just sing a song, just snippets of random lyrics to the tune of an entirely unrelated song. For example combine Gavin DeGraw’s “I’m In Love With a Girl”, The Moody Blues’ “Nights in White Satin” and Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls” to form “I’m in love with a girl in White Satin, Long legs and burgandy lips.” Sing it to the tune of 2 Pac’s “California Love” just for fun.

And finally,

(3) Exercise. I don’t do this as often as I should. Just for fun, moonwalk around the track. Or play a prank. My favorite is to put olive oil on the weight bars.

So there you have it, my tips for combating stress. We all need to laugh a little and at times, we need to laugh a lot, even at ourselves. Now get out there and have some fun!

Take care, be well and do good work.

Trialdawg.

Whoa, You Don't Know The Shape I'm In..

2009-04-04T09:03:00.000-07:00

Its been awhile since I’ve posted anything, a product of a complicated professional life and illness in my personal life. Things were fine until I came back from a few days of R&R. I didn’t feel sick, just a little lethargic. I had a dull pain behind one of my eyes and a general feeling of listlessness. A short time later my throat began to hurt. I’ll spare you dear readers the details, but the pressure finally ended this week when a small placenta came out of my face along with part of my brain. I don’t think it was anything important, but I can’t seem to remember my primary colors anymore and simple arithmetic is a chore. I also can’t talk good no more. I’ve got a lot of things saved up from my three week hiatus, but I’ll ease into it.. Stay tuned gentle readers.

Take care, be well and do good work.

Trialdawg.

P.S. My thanks to The Great Levon Helm and The Band for the title of this blog.

Playing Hookey

2009-03-12T14:57:00.000-07:00

I'm spending a few days playing hooky in Oklahoma City attending the Big XII Championship for both the men and the women. Karla and I have been through two and a half days of constant basketball and it has been a blast. We saw Kansas and Kansas State get beat this morning and now we are about to walk back to the arena to see Oklahoma play Oklahoma State and Missouri play Texas Tech this evening. I have never been prouder of my home state as I have been this week. Oklahoma City really knows how to put on an event of this magnitude and the atmosphere downtown is incredible. Karla and I have got our red gear on and are ready to cheer our Sooners on to victory.

Later.

Trialdawg.

Karla

2009-03-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

Last week was a long one for Karla and I, but I am convinced that it was longer for Karla. We defended a woman charged with what amounted to attempted first degree murder. I use “we” because she was as much a part of this case as I was. Almost everybody wonders what Karla’s job is, and I simply say "she works with me" because I can’t put a single label on what she does. Every time she and I try one of these things, I marvel at how different she is from every other woman I’ve ever met. I silently laugh because everybody in the outside world wants to talk earnestly about music, relationships, cars, homes, famous people, trends, fashion and everyday life to her as if that is the sum total of her existence. Few people have a clue what she actually does or how brilliantly she does it. The truth is, she can do ANYTHING and she is brilliant at it.

I’ll start with what was on the line last week. A woman accused of shooting her second husband in the back, with a .12 gauge shotgun. A woman, in her forties, facing a life sentence. A woman with two children she bore for a father who has since died. Two children, whose mother could go to prison for the rest of their lives. A woman who has never had a break in her entire life. A woman that every single person in this county bet against. A case with terrible facts, little hope of success and the scorn of all concerned. A woman that every person thought deserved prison, except a jury of twelve people.

Karla took this cause to heart, just like every other cause we accept. We tried this case with a friend of mine, one of the best trial lawyers I’ve ever seen. He and I marveled at all of things that Karla can do. She worked with us on strategy and came up with the WINNING strategy. She organized a trial notebook that helped us find everything at exactly the right time. She created trial exhibits that made even the State’s experts and law enforcement officers say “wow, where did you get those?” With all of the money and resources the State of Oklahoma has, Karla outperformed them at our kitchen table for less than $100.00. She sat in the Courtroom and listened to every single witness, took notes and gave us advice. She argued with passion to me that we had to do something to make this jury see things from our client's point of view, and when I didn’t have anyone to testify to that point of view, she helped me get testimony from the State's witnesses that made the jury see our client's point of view.In short, Karla helped win this case. Our client went home after a not guilty verdict.

A superhero is someone or something that saves lives. Karla helped save this woman’s life and because of her, her children have their mother back. As good as Karla is, she never brags, never asks for credit for anything and she never really tells people what she does. There is nobody else that I’d rather go to trial with, there is nobody better at everything she does and nobody looks as good as she does doing it. She is a wife, a sports nut, travel companion, math whiz, cheerleader, Ryan Newman fan, comedienne, paralegal, a fiend of all things OU, jury consultant, graphic designer, photographer, interior decorator, concert buddy, honorary trialdawg and my best friend. She is THE Superwoman.... yes she is.

Love ya babe.

Trialdawg.

Ruminations on President's Day

2009-02-16T09:30:00.000-08:00

Why do we celebrate President’s Day? I suppose it is to honor all the men who have held the job. I looked earnestly for a parade or rally of some sort, but to no avail. I was always under the impression that if you had a day off, you were obligated to attend a parade. I found no parade or rally to attend, so I am going to do the next best thing. I am going to dress up as my favorite president and parade around my own home. I have always liked William Henry Harrison because I think he did a lot for the presidency. He gave the longest inaugural address in history, in a cold rain and died a month later from pneumonia. All Presidents following him learned two simple rules for inaugural protocol. Keep it short and put a damned coat on. Who knows how many Presidential lives he saved by his selfless acts. So today, I will don a shirt and tie, sans coat and hat and cough a lot. I will ramble incessantly about the Whig party and what a failure Van Buren was and when my wife complains, I will remind her that upon my death, she will receive $25,000.00 cash and free postage for life.

Happy Presidents Day.

Trialdawg

Balance

2009-02-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

I write the following entry for myself, but the readers are welcomed to read along.

I’ve worked hard over the past few months at my mantra to do better, in everything. The mantra has had some unexpected and unintended consequences. Time has taught me that I suffer from a tunnel vision which seems to focus on one problem with laser-like precision at the expense of all others. I’ve learned that when I commit to something, I do it with my whole heart, body and soul and leave little time for much else. I guess I’ve always been that way, even as a child. I’ve never been a juggler or much of a multi-tasker as I felt I was shortchanging the true task at hand. That focus has served me well at times of great stress in both my personal and professional life, but it has also been a great disservice to those things that weren’t important enough for that great focus. As a result, I’ve been great for a time at many things, a husband, a lawyer, a son and a friend as the circumstances required. On the other hand, my performance in all of those areas over time has been mediocre and at times, an abject failure. When I get into office mode, I suck as a friend, as a son and I really suck as a husband. When I am being a great husband, I am downright neglectful of my practice and the good people that pay our bills.

I am working very hard this year to try to find some balance in my life. I want to continue to practice the best law that I can because that work feeds my soul and puts dinner on our table, but I don’t want to look up one day and realize that I am alone and have pushed every single person away to do what I love to do. I want to spend meaningful time with my wife. I want to hang out with my mom and dad while they are still here instead regretting all the things I should have done after they are gone. I want to spend more time with my brother who makes me feel like a normal person. I want to be a better friend to the friends I have and I want to be more than just a Godparent that sends gifts and money. For the first time in my life, I am a little frightened of what lies ahead because the last two months have been trial and error in pursuit of the balance that I must find. I am afraid that I’ll never find it, but I won’t stop trying. To my friends, thanks for being my friend, even when I’m unfriendly, to my clients, thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the faith you place in Karla and I. To my family, I hope to see you all a lot more. I’ve got a lot to tell Karla, but that will happen over a Valentine’s Day dinner that will mean a lot more than the gifts we’ll give one another.

Be well everybody and Happy Valentines Day.

Trialdawg.

Quotes

2009-02-03T19:51:00.000-08:00

I've heard alot of things I've thought noteworthy over the past few days. Its more interesting to simply list them tonight. I am too wired for linear logic..

"Save Bandit!!"
-The Office

"Airports are like stuck up malls."
-Karla

"Liberace called, he wants his shirt back"
-Me to my officemate (Ok I stole that one, but its still funny and the shirt was especially bad)

"You've left a lot of possibilities open"
-My officemate in response to my telling him not to do anything I wouldn't do.

"I am very picky about the consistency of my oatmeal"
-Karla

"Naked women are the new crack!"
-A fellow lawyer (Amen brother)

"Britney Spears was a lot hotter when she was crazy"
-Anonymous

"I don't dance, it looks like an ostrich vomiting"
-Me

"Enjoy your geek adventure"
-Karla to me when I told her I was going outside to look at the space station.

Yes I know, I live and work in a locker room full of juvenile delinquents, but don't we all.

Trialdawg.

Posts From A Melting Ice Cave

2009-01-31T07:37:00.000-08:00

I was a prisoner in my own home this week as sleet, freezing rain and the occasional snow flake inundated my town. I love those days because they are a throwback to childhood. They are bonus days which are unexpected and unplanned. Those are the days that Mother Nature dictates the schedule and the world is along for the ride. I check the weather religiously and usually know what the next few days hold, but I got busy early last week and forgot to follow my pattern. As a result, I was really surprised on Monday when the first rumblings of the storm headed my way. I went home Monday night and didn't come back to the office until Thursday morning. I thought I took home plenty of work to keep me busy through two days of exile. I was wrong. By Tuesday afternoon, I completed all of the work I’d brought home and boredom began to set in. Karla was sick for three days last week and spent most of it in a Nyquil induced coma, I was left to fend for myself. Here is a sampling of what I did to pass the time.

1.) Moved furniture for no particular reason.

2.) Reprogrammed my voice recognition system to follow my elmer fudd voice. Example “Go to sweep wittle computer; hahahaha.

3.) Spent an hour reading about “twitter” and its place in the business world. As a side note, I still don’t get it and I refuse to use anything with the word “twit” so prominently featured in the name of the product. Furthermore, I refuse to “tweet” anything, I am a man, not a small bird you idiots.

4.) Watched about 100 episodes of “The Office” and learned that “FNC double time” means front and center, twice as fast as you would normally go.

5.) Listened to Karla snore.

6.) Learned that when I snore, Karla finds it acceptable to hit me in the face, while I sleep.

7.) Danced to the disco music from “Car Wash”.

8.) Watched OU beat OSU, the Thunder beat the Memphis Grizzlies and Nebraska beat Kansas.

9.) Ordered tickets to the OU/Texas A&M game next week.

10.) Yahooed with Brother Mark.

11.) Listened to Karla snore some more.

12.) Wrote another chapter of the book.

13.) Learned that I don’t make coco or oatmeal to Karla’s satisfaction.

14.) Broke dishes.

15.) Learned that a house is really empty without a dog.

16.) Drank beer

17.) Woke up a snoring Karla, who responded by hitting me in the face. I responded as any battered husband would and bonded her out of jail. (Heh, just kidding).

The sun is out today and this ice is nearly gone. It will be 70 degrees tomorrow and my winter days will be another memory that I'll press in an album along with the pictures. Spring is just around the corner here in Oklahoma, but it was nice to have a few days of real winter weather. I’m always happy to give mother nature a few days of control, even at the expense of my sanity.

Trialdawg.

Laughter Really Is The Best Medicine.

2009-01-26T16:53:00.000-08:00

Its been a tough week around the house, but I was better after this exchange in our kitchen yesterday morning...

Karla: "I rearranged the refrigerator because the water was compromising the structural integrity of my box".

Me: "That's what she said."

It sure felt good to laugh again!

Thanks Karla.

Goodbye, Farewell and Amen

2009-01-21T11:15:00.000-08:00

Life is funny almost everyday we live it. We plan things for months, we put them on our calendars because we expect things to happen in a certain order and we feel comfortable for that small measure of control over something we don’t really control at all. January 21, 2009 was supposed to be a good day. I had a lot of new clients coming in, I was to prepare for my cases in court tomorrow. Karla was to have lunch with her family and I was to go see my uncle. I was looking forward to a boat show with my brother and dad this weekend, and perhaps even a basketball game. I woke up at 7:45 AM to find Limbaugh, our 14 year old cocker spaniel asleep on her pillow in front of the foot of our bed. I went into the kitchen to clean up a little and five minutes later, I came back to the bedroom to find that she had moved to our bathroom. I had no idea that anything was wrong. I reached down to pet her, she lifted her head and that was the last time she ever moved. I touched her again, but she was gone. I moved her back to her pillow to get a better look at her. As I picked her up, she was limp and she took her last breath. Limbaugh died this morning of what I believe was a heart attack. She was gone in less than a minute. My typing these words is just surreal. Limbaugh is dead.

Before I begin, this is not a tragedy. She was 14 years old and had lived a long and happy life. Nor was she a person. This moment in Karla and I’s lives does not begin to compare to what thousands of people across this world will go through today when they lose a parent, a spouse, a child or a sibling.. But.. But..

But, with the exception of just a few days over the past almost 15 years, I have seen her, petted her and played with her. She wasn’t a human, but I liked her a lot better than most of the humans I meet. Karla and I were given Limbaugh four months before she and I were married. I moved from my parent’s house and into our apartment in 1994 while Karla stayed at her home. I had never lived by myself before and it was comforting to have Limbaugh there with me, as I was never alone. Karla and I shared custody of Limbaugh until Karla moved in after we were married. We became a family and Limbaugh has been there through every single step along the way. My graduation from college. An impromptu pre-bachelor party at the apartment where she ate my dear friend Chad’s wallet and ate a cigar. Limbaugh and I lost the deposit in one unfortunate tennis ball throwing incident that shattered a light fixture just days after we moved in. When I graduated law school, Limbaugh didn't treat me any different, she just wanted me to feed her, play with her and pet her. When Karla and I moved to Coalgate, Limbaugh came right along with us and adapted beautifully to the new surroundings and she corralled armadillos, goats, kittens, ducks and she “killed” many many possums. When I quit my comfortable job at the DA’s Office to open my own practice, Limbaugh displayed a brown eyed confidence that Karla and I would continue to take care of her in the manner to which she had become accustomed, and so we did. Although Karla convinced me that we should get a dog, Limbaugh became mine and she wanted to be where ever I was. Even in her last days of blindness, she knew where I was and wanted to be in the same room with me. She couldn’t see me, but she still watched my every move. She outlived five cats and seven fish and even in times of uncertainty, she was the one constant in Karla and I’s lives. We loved her like family and we miss her. In short, she was my friend.

This is not a tragedy, but it certainly hurts like one. She wasn’t a person, but we certainly treated her like one and it was almost as if she wouldn’t settle for anything less. I’ve been numb for the past few hours. I sat with her in her last minutes of life and then for a few minutes afterwards before I went in and told Karla, and then began the painful task of burying her. As I type this, the first tears are beginning to fall. I haven’t yet allowed myself to cry, because I don’t know when I will stop. The pain of the living does not negate their responsibility to the dead and this is the last thing I have to do before I begin to cry. She was a dog, but to Karla and I, she was so much more, one of the biggest parts of our lives and her death has left a stinging sense of loss and an immense hole that will take time to get over.

I will miss you Limbaugh. I will miss your confidence in Karla and I to take care of you. I will miss coming home to someone that is glad to see us. I will miss your defiance, your attitude and your destructiveness. I will miss the feeling that you owned us, not the other way around. I will miss the “baugh”, a cut that originated with you and will die with you. I will miss that on your sickest day, you were happy that we were home. I will miss bread pills and eye drops, barking at the neighbors and fighting over things on the floor. I will miss the reason for my name trialdawg. Finally, I will miss the looks you gave us, even when you couldn’t see us, dog treats even when you did something wrong and the best dog I’ve ever had.

Karla and I miss you Limbaugh. Rest in peace old friend.

We love you...

Trialdawg and KJ.

Play it again Sam!

2009-01-14T16:47:00.000-08:00

I've heard all week that Sam Bradford would turn pro. He had many reasons to turn pro, almost 15 million reasons, but ultimately they weren't enough. I've always said that loving what we do is much more important than money. I understand his decision. I loved college. I loved every part of it. While I wouldn't trade the life I have now for anything, I have the fondest memories of college and I am glad that I got to enjoy all of them. Those years have made each subsequent year that much better. There is plenty of time to grow up Sam, enjoy class, enjoy the lifestyle and enjoy the sport of football. In short, play it again Sam, I'll see you September.

Trialdawg.

Life In Pajama Pants

2009-01-03T08:45:00.000-08:00

Karla and I took the previous week off and it has been a good one. I have left the house a total of three times and my uniform has been a pair of pajama pants and hideous house shoes. I did not intend to create a fashion trend with this outfit, it was just something comfortable that I enjoy wearing. For the first time in my life, I have a beard. I made a commitment to not shave over this vacation, and it will remain in place until I come back from Miami. I do feel a little self conscious about it because I am the only one that seems to notice. When I complete my beard, pajama pants and house shoes ensemble with an old hoodie, I have to be careful about going outside because my outfit also seems to be the same one mental patients wear. I worry that a rubber truck will drive up the house and take me to a nice quiet hospital where I’ll be taught to crochet with rubber implements, encouraged to sit in a circle with strangers and sip coffee out of a styrofoam cup while I am directed to talk about my problems. I am also concerned because my dear sister Eva actually sees people in the store in which she works wearing my exact outfit. These people led her to create the phrase “those are pajama pants, not life pants”. I do promise to eventually shave, don a pair of jeans and put some damn shoes on, but for now I am enjoying my Howard Hughes phase. In just a few days, Karla and I will be on a flight to Miami and I guarantee I won’t be wearing my pajama pants on the plane. The house shoes may be another story though.

Have a good day..

Trialdawg.

2009- A Resolution

2009-01-02T09:35:00.000-08:00

As the new year descends upon us, many have written about what happened over the past 365 days, and I think that a worthy pursuit. I used to do just that, but 2008 doesn’t seem particularly worthy of reflection. I don’t know if it is my age, or a situational oddity exclusive to this particular new year. In a year of war, recession, and year that saw more than a few lose all that they had and more than a few of those few lose their hopes, their dreams and their very future, my trivial advances and good fortune don’t seem well placed here.

Instead, I simply want to wish each of you a belated happy new year. I hope you will join me in a resolution, a promise to ourselves to do better. Do not let the enemies of procrastination, despair and cynicism defeat that solemn promise to ourselves to do better. Do not bog down in the banality of trivia, allow hatred and greed to cloud our vision of a better us. Let us all make a decision to offer a helping hand to those in need and never to be shy about asking for that helping hand if we need it. Let us win this game of life with a happy heart and shake the hands of our adversary with a smile on our faces. Lets conduct ourselves as ladies and gentlemen, not because our parents taught us to do it that way, but because it is the right thing to do. Let us take better care of ourselves, because even if we hate who we are, somebody out there loves us and would be irrevocably broken if we weren’t around. Let us live each day thankful that we have this day to live and let us be mindful that nobody gets out of life alive. Let us be as quick to love and praise as we are to hate and criticize. Let us play the game instead of sitting idle on the sidelines. Let us do rather than be. Let us not be a country of nay-sayers awash in a sea of hope.

I believe that America’s best days are still ahead of us. We the people, you and I, are the only ones who can make America what we want it to be, but we have to do it together. So join me this 2009, stand shoulder to shoulder with me and pick up the weapon of your choice be it a gun, a pen, a song book, a law book, the Constitution, the Bible or the Koran and lets march forward behind a new President. Lets get better! Lets DO better! That my friends, will make 2009 a year worth remembering.

Take care, be well and do good work.

Trialdawg.

The Texoma Adventures of Trialdawg and WHU

2008-12-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

I’ve been back from the lake for a few days now and it still feels like I am there. My clothes still smell of campfire smoke, my boots show the scorch marks from a small grass fire, the sound of the waves are still in my ears and I’ve got this contented smile on my face. We kept our lake tradition this past weekend of leaving behind a little more than we brought. The casualties from the brutal wind were one tent and one screen house. In blatant disregard of the burn ban, we started a campfire which quickly grew into a small grass fire that consumed a quarter acre of the campsite and one small tree. During the frivolity, a camp chair was broken and then sacrificed on an open flame along with a pair of Will’s Nikes. As I watched the shoes burn, I thought to myself “from ash we cometh and to ash we returneth, and in between we hold the sweaty feet of strangers.”

It was a learning trip. I learned that a 60 mile per hour wind snaps fiberglass tent poles like matchsticks. I learned that a camp fire can melt metal. I learned that its not the size of the tent, its how you use it. I learned that I have a “strange snoring pattern”. I learned that dry grass, when propelled by high wind, will burn at the speed of sound. I learned that while the dry grass burns at the speed of sound, your friend’s inaction should be not attributed to shock or fear, but to a pause for thought while he considers his “inventory of available options”. I learned that it is possible for it be seventy degrees at 8 AM with thunderstorms and twenty degrees at 8 PM. I also learned that the frost point for snot, in one’s own nose, is also twenty degrees. I learned that while cooking hotdogs over an open campfire, the term “wiener roast” can take an extremely painful and literal meaning. I also learned that the term “fire crotch” doesn’t necessarily refer to Lindsay Lohan. I learned what burnt pubic hair smells like.

When I’m at the Lake, I always try to plan for the next one. I want each experience to be better than the one before. Here a few tips as a reminder to myself, and you gentle reader, for a better camping trip:

(1.) If one intends to bring canned food, bring a can opener. This helpful tool will make camping life easier. There is no fun in breaking into a can of baked beans with a butter knife and mallet, and another note, repeatedly throwing that can against a tree or attempting to break it open against a cast iron skillet like an egg doesn’t work either. Bring a fire extinguisher. Fire is an ever present danger on the camp site, particularly when you leave a juvenile delinquent in charge of said fire.

(2.) Bring rope, duct tape and every tent you’ve ever owned. In the event of a wind related malfunction, it is possible to mix and match the poles, the wind flaps, the stakes and even the tents themselves into one gigantic nylon disaster that I have dubbed the “frankentent”. (Copyright and Patent Pending).

(3.) If only two people camp for one night, don’t bring food for twenty people camping for a week. This invites waste and over-indulgence. Do not assume that your party will eat for the entire trip and don’t assume that an entire battalion of paratroopers will land on your camp site and ask for cheeseburgers.

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On a serious note, it was a great trip. We sat around a hot camp fire and talked about our big plans as we looked into a moonless sky that reminded us just how small we really are. We should be reminded of that from time to time. Man has a tendency to build its problems into things which appear much bigger than they really are. We attach great importance to trivial matters which are best left to fools even at the expense of what really matters. The lake is a centering experience. The lake doesn’t care how much money you have or how important you think you are. It laughs at life’s problems by making you work for the basics of heat and shelter. There is no time to worry about your mortgage or your portfolio or your job. The lake is rewarding because it presents small problems that I can solve in a matter of minutes. If I am cold, I build a fire, if I need shelter, I erect a tent, several tents in our case. Finally, the lake gives me a chance to take pause and reflect on where I’ve been and where I’ll go next. The lake encourages introspection and awe. Each time I sit on those shores and look at the beauty of those stars, they seem to wink at me as if to say, we know, we’ve been watching you every day and we knew you’d be back. And each year I come back, if just for one night, and am better for the experience. A simple experience, of good conversation, a camp fire, one bottle, two cups and one of the best friends I’ve ever had. I can’t wait to do it again!

Trialdawg.

Hawaii...

2008-12-07T20:36:00.000-08:00

Wasn't a paradise today back in 1941. I've thought about Arizona, Oklahoma and Pearl Harbor all day long. The last time I checked, 2008 was included in infamy.

Trialdawg.

Now Let's Talk Football

2008-12-06T11:31:00.000-08:00

Ok, I have heard the shouts of Texas fans all week long. Both in person and in every available media. I get it, you’re upset and you have every right to be. But, I do have one quibble with your logic, and I think that is a strong term to use in such a convoluted situation that is college football. Your claim that Texas should be in the Big XII Championship because they beat Oklahoma is well taken, but with one exception. The college football rankings are a weekly affair. They are a snapshot each week of which team is best. In October of this year, your team was better. Your team was ranked ahead of the University of Oklahoma and every other team in the land. The problem is, we don’t decide who plays in the Championship based on how good a football team is in October, but in December. Oklahoma righteously redeemed their season in November while Texas stumbled. And not be unkind, but Texas always stumbles down the stretch, including the previous two years to Texas A&M. One week does not a season make. The final rankings are what count, not the first ones, just ask Georgia and not the ones mid-season, just ask us, but right now, we’re the better team.

Now that I’ve dispensed with that foolishness, here are my predictions for today and next week.

Florida will beat Alabama and here is why. Alabama has a great defense, one of the best in the country. Florida also has a great defense, but has an offense to match. Furthermore, Florida has as good a scoring defense as good as Alabama’s. Therefore, I give Florida the edge.

Oklahoma will beat Missouri. I am not exactly going out on a limb here. Oklahoma has a powerhouse offense that can pass the ball. Missouri is terrible against the pass. This is based on their lack of a pass rush. Oklahoma has an offensive line, led by Loadholt, that should blow holes in the line which will mean we can run the ball as well. Edge, Oklahoma.

Oklahoma and Florida will play for the National Championship which will be a fantastic game. Oklahoma had better come prepared, if our defense doesn’t come to play, we’ll be in big trouble. Remember kids, defense wins championships!

Sam Bradford will win the Heisman Trophy. Colt McCoy will finish second and Tim Tebow will finish third.

Texas will play Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. Texas will mop the flubber with the Buckeyes. The AP poll may vote Texas Number 1 in the final poll.

Regardless of how any of this plays out, it will be awfully fun to watch. I can’t wait for bowl season!

Trialdawg.

Email and Economics

2008-12-06T10:34:00.000-08:00

I spent Friday sick in bed, but through the haze of Nyquil, I got to watch a large portion of the automakers’ second day of testimony on the hill. I was annoyed by what I heard, and by the fact that they pre-empted the most interesting testimony for a thirty minute sentencing hearing for O.J. Simpson. After ten minutes of that banality, I turned it over to Cspan and resumed the hearings. After I finished, I started work on an email that I sent to several Legislators. I have attached part of the email.

Dear Sirs:

I have a few comments on the present debate regarding the proposed automotive bailout. I’ve just finished watching the second day of testimony by the Chief Executive Officers from Ford Motor Company, General Motors and Chrysler. I am left with but one conclusion. There is a reason that Congressmen are in Congress rather than running a business somewhere. None of you have the first clue about running a business or macroeconomics for that matter. I am convinced that Congress’ involvement in this affair is going to kill the auto industry and here is why.

The Misunderstanding

1.) Your body fundamentally misunderstands the root cause of the problem. It isn’t that no one wants to buy new cars anymore. It isn’t that people can’t afford new cars anymore. Most folks pay off a car, and trade it in and start paying for another one. The monthly payments are very close to what they’ve been paying all along, but perhaps for a longer term. The problem is that banks stopped lending to car buyers as they had in the past. If people can’t get the financing to buy a new car, they can’t buy a new car and all of those shiny cars and trucks sit in the showrooms. Commissions aren’t paid, inventory swells and the demand for more inventory drops, which in turn, causes the automakers to cease production, which puts thousands of auto-workers on layoff. Right now is a great time to buy a vehicle, great deals are out there, if you have cash to buy. Most folks don’t.

2.) Because of this misunderstanding, Congress has attempted to tie financial bailout money to a promise that automakers will make more “fuel efficient” and more “eco-friendly” models. Cars are made to sell. As much as the population likes to talk about “going green”, individuals don’t want “green” cars. They are expensive, underpowered, undersized and difficult to refuel. Americans want big cars in which they can transport a family of five and feel safe. They do not want to be stuffed into an aluminum soda can with a top speed of 60 miles per hour. And while we’re on the subject, General Motors already has a Hybrid SUV from Cadillac and its sales numbers are abysmal because no one can afford them.

The Consequence

In essence, your body said to the automakers, we’ll give you the money, but only if you promise to build more fuel efficient and expensive vehicles that no one will buy and that no one can afford. I’ve always said that Congress should allow them to go bankrupt and then reorganize under that protection. Congress should give them a line of credit during that reorganization period. It worked for Delta and it worked for Chrysler over twenty years ago. In the meantime, we’ve already bailed out the banks, who haven’t released one red cent in the form of new loans to consumers. Your body should have put some conditions on that money, as in a certain percentage must be leant to consumers instead of being used at the bank's discretion. (A critical error on your part).

The Real Solution- Don’t put the Green Engine Before the Fuel

I think that what I’ve pointed out here is simple. I’ve always believed that in order for the economy to truly function, more folks from the middle class must have more discretionary income, and more access to credit. We need to keep inflation under control, and the chief thing we can do is curb this Country’s reliance on oil. We should be investing in wind farms to power entire cities. We should be converting fleet vehicles for cities and towns to burn ethanol and natural gas. This would cut our dependence on oil dramatically. Finally, set up fueling stations that can actually dispense the fuel that new “green cars” will run on. As our demand for oil goes down, so will the price of oil. Congress does have the right idea, but you are going about it backwards. Once more, you are going for the easy and politically popular option rather than the one that has a real, long lasting solution.

Respectfully,

Jason D. XXXXXXXXXXX.

We shall see if my missive helps. If it does, you will all owe me big time.

Trialdawg

I Could Try.

2008-11-23T08:35:00.000-08:00

I could try to describe what last night was like inside Owen Field. I can still see every play in my mind and I can remember, with absolute clarity, how it felt with .34 left in the first half. I could try and tell you what it was like to feel a stadium shake when over 85,000 people “jump around”. I could try to tell you what a “big game” atmosphere feels like, what it feels like to have the eyes of the nation on a place you hold dear. I could try to tell you why this was better than 2004 and 2006. I could try to tell you why this was as good as 2000. I could try to tell you what it was like to see your team do everything right. I could try to describe one of the best defensive efforts I’ve ever seen. I could try to say the offense was perfect. I could try to tell you that it was so good a night that I could actually hear what my great uncle would say. I could try and describe my goose bumps. I could try to tell you how good it was to share the night with a wife that loves this stuff as much as you do. I could try, but I can’t do it justice..

YOU JUST HAD TO BE THERE!!

I have no voice this morning, my ears are still ringing and my whole body hurts, but I’ve had a smile on my face for hours. THIS is why I love college football!

Politics and Policy

2008-11-17T18:32:00.000-08:00

There has been talk over the past week about the government giving varying degrees of help to the American Auto Industry. I am going to watch this debate closely as I think it is an early test for the Obama Presidency in 2009. President Elect Obama said during the campaign that he would end tax breaks to American Corporations that ship American jobs overseas. President Elect Obama has also advocated “help” for the American Auto Industry. There are varying degrees of suggested “help” , from pumping money into the auto credit market to flat out giving money to the big 3.

Few corporations have exported more jobs than the “American” Auto Industry and President Elect Obama knows it. Now he seems to be advocating not only allowing the industry to keep the tax breaks they already have, but actually giving them more money and aid, with restrictions. We have all heard politicians talk about belt tightening and responsibility during the election, but less than two weeks later, we are back to the same old rhetoric we’ve heard for the last twenty years.

Policy makers are considering a further bailout of the auto industry, and I agree. Look, I can’t imagine the economic impact of a completely defunct General Motors or Chrysler Corporation, but I don’t think any of us understand the root of the economic problems our nation faces. Ultimately the auto industry is in trouble because they can’t sell cars. Granted, auto makers have mismanaged the financial advantage they’ve enjoyed through complacency and a firm belief that they could always make up small financial losses in the next quarter, but the current crisis ultimately comes down to cash flow. Few people are buying cars not only because they can’t get the financing, but because they can’t afford them. The interest rates are too high and the credit market is extremely tight. Congress wants easy credit for automobiles so that consumers will buy them, which generates cash flow for the automakers. Simple right? Wrong.

Does anyone remember why we are in this mess in the first place? Easy financing for home loans which enticed consumers to buy homes they could not afford. When inflation went up, folks couldn’t afford their mortgages because they were paying more for the things we all need, fuel and food. If Congress artificially creates another easy credit market for automobiles to entice consumers to buy a new car when they can’t even pay their mortgage, we will be right back in the situation we are now.

I hope Congress allows General Motors to go bankrupt and allows Chrysler to go bankrupt and then aids in financing during the reorganization period. The plan has worked before and I think it is the only responsible thing to do now. I also hope that President Elect Obama does not turn a vague political promise into a poor policy choice. Despite your earlier position, go ahead and give them the aid, but wait for the inevitable bankruptcy to do it.

Trialdawg.

A Holiday Message

2008-11-11T06:25:00.000-08:00

To all veterans in this country, thank you. To all members of the military, thank you. Thank you for defending our country, our safety and our freedom. We set aside this day to give pause and thought to everything you've done for us. Happy Veterans Day, I wish I could shake each of your hands today!

Trialdawg.

The Big Tent of Unity

2008-11-05T17:50:00.000-08:00

I’ve been out a lot today and heard more than a few people talk about the results of last night. It was a truly historic election and one that I am proud to have been a part of. I love elections because they are one of the few times when we the people are reminded that we have the power rather than the powers that be. I love them because we the people, in order to form a more perfect government come together to vote for our candidate of choice, to make our voices heard. We stood in rain, in heat, in the cold and in line for hours to make our voices heard and that in and of itself is extraordinary. Nobody was shot, nobody was hurt and nobody went to jail while they exercised a right set aside by founder’s ink and guaranteed by solider’s blood. Elections remind us that no matter the policies broken, our system stands as strong as it did over 200 years ago. Now is the time for all of us to heal the broken ties between republicans and democrats, red states, blue states, christians and non-christians, gay, straight, black, white and rich and poor and come together as Americans. It is time to remember that Evangelicals are as much a part of this Country as gay people are. That the poorest man can be as much a part of this recovery as the CEO of Google. That we can support our troops and yet want them out of Iraq. It is time to come together as a country behind our new President. If we allow our differences to define us, a message of hope will become an unattainable dream. With that said, to all the Republicans, no good can from your emailing me that President Elect Obama is the Anti-Christ or that you hope that I’ll one day be sorry for my vote. To all the Democrats, this is no time to gloat, and to point and laugh at Republicans because they’ve lost or to call Evangelicals crazy or hypocrites.

We’re all in this together folks. Most of us are Christians. Christians have different beliefs among themselves. I deeply respect any person of faith so long as that faith doesn’t insist that I hate someone else in order to play. I do not respect anyone who hopes that this President fails simply to prove themselves right. On a final note, I have received some of the most racial emails I’ve ever seen in regards to this election. I don’t dislike those folks, I just feel sorry for their ignorance. Lets come together despite our different philosophies. Those differences are what make this Country strong. And finally, lets say a prayer for the President, the President Elect, all of our troops abroad and each new Senator and Representative that God give each of them wisdom and that HIS will be done, not ours. If we do that, we’ll be fine, regardless of who is in power.

Trialdawg

Lightening and Lottery Tickets

2008-11-02T09:20:00.000-08:00

I stood in line on Friday and shocked myself when I cast my vote for Barrack Obama. It was an odd thing for me to actually vote for a democrat, I’ve only done it once in my entire life and that vote had mixed results for me personally. I’ve jokingly remarked that I voted for Obama because I was afraid that McCain would die and that Palin would take over. Truth be told, I don’t think Palin is stupid and has overall, been a good Governor for Alaska. She has expressed some economic tenants which I find appealing and her legislative agenda has been a good one.

Ultimately, my decision came down to two things. First, the state of Constitutional law in this country. I am still bitter over the promulgation and passage of the Patriot Act which did what forty years of partisan politics could not do, an evisceration of the fundamental right to privacy. Staunch Republicans believe that American life is better with less government interference. This belief is why I am a Republican at heart, but Republicans have advocated more governmental interference in the personal lives of Americans over the past seven years than any democrat since FDR and they used the population’s suspicion and fear to do it. We’ve been inundated with messages from the white house that terrorists still want to attack this country, that they still want to kill us, that we are to remain on high alert. We take our shoes off before we get on an airplane, we have allowed law enforcement to tap phones, pull up our bank accounts, peruse what we read and what we access on the internet in an attempt to check our patriotism.

Republicans have used the abortion argument and the war on drugs to install Judges who have transformed our vehicles from a locked safe into a glass suitcase. Judges who have extended roadblocks from “Public Safety Checkpoints” into “Drug Interdiction Units”. Judges who have changed the law from “the curtilage is as protected as the home” to “a knock and talk is a consensual interaction between the citizen and the policeman”. Judges who have turned “Probable Cause” into “Reasonable Suspicion”. Republicans at every level of government have capitalized on the fear of every American and they should be ashamed.

We need to take a step back and remember history. There have been four attacks on American soil since the war of 1812. Pearl Harbor, a Japanese balloon attack on the northwestern coast, a car bomb in the parking garage of the World Trade Center and 9/11. Americans have a better chance of being struck by lightening, twice, while holding a winning lottery ticket than being injured in an attack by terrorists on American soil. However, Republicans have used that fear to their advantage and as result, the culture has changed for the worse. I want a President that defends all of the Constitution, not just part of it. I want a Republican that defends the Fourth Amendment as fervently as the Second, but he didn’t run this time. I have no confidence that McCain will appoint Judges differently that Bush did. My notes on his answer from the third debate reveal a shockingly ill-advised opinion. Obama indicated that he would nominate judges who would change the direction of the Court, something I desperately want. (Author’s note, I count at least two Supreme Court Justices which could retire during an Obama term).

Second, I voted for Obama because I am firmly convinced that the top down tax theory in this economy won’t work anymore. The top-down tax theory holds, as its premise, that if large corporations, ones that make over 5 million per year, are given tax breaks, they will use that capital to create more innovation and more jobs. The premise seems sound, but I looked at the facts and I run a business. On the whole, most of the innovations and most of the jobs are created by people just like me. I am not rich and my lack of size forces me to be innovative so that I can offer the same service that a bigger company can. Small businesses like mine employ the majority of the people in this country. The Obama tax plan will succeed because, while my taxes will very probably go up by a small margin, I’ll make more money in the long run because my clients will have more money to spend. I am one the best at what I do, and with few exceptions, the only reason I don’t get hired is because someone doesn’t have the money to pay my fee.

Finally, while the “spread the wealth” comment irritates me, I have looked at everything in Obama’s plan and I can’t find anything to indicate that he intends to reach into the wealth Karla and I have created. Obama did say that he would “roll back the Bush tax cut” which included a large reduction of the capital gains tax. I have in my notes that he said during the final debate that he would not raise the capital gains tax for anyone. If any reader remembers it differently, I would like to know. Instead, his plan does provide for a redistribution in income, which doesn’t bother me as much. Every president since Calvin Coolidge has redistributed income in some fashion, including the current administration. I don’t have a problem with that, I have a good accountant that will help me keep as much as I am allowed. I think the positives far outweigh the negatives for Karla and I.

I hope that each of you vote this Tuesday for whomever you think will do the best job for you and our Country. It should be a thoughtful decision. I have had discussions with a lot of folks over the past few weeks. I enjoy them. I like to know what people think and why. I am interested in your comments. You don’t have to say who you voted for, but I would like to know why you pulled the lever. I’ll check back later, I’m going to go play in a thunderstorm with my lottery ticket.

Trialdawg.

8 Days

2008-10-27T19:30:00.000-07:00

Alfred E. Neuman said political speeches are like steer horns. A point here, a point there, and a lot of bull in between. I couldn’t agree with him any more than if I had penned that line myself. I understand the points of each candidate, and I can also tell the bull in between. Senator McCain has an economic plan which would have been called Socialist in the 50s. Senator Obama has a health care plan that will never pass the Congress and a Foreign Policy that absolutely befuddles me. Senator McCain has picked a moronic cult superstar to serve as President in the event that he can’t and Senator Obama wants to spread the wealth, not our MONEY, but THE WEALTH, a striking difference. Both candidates are so asinine that neither deserves a vote by any thinking American, but we must choose one and at this point, I don’t know which.

Which one should we choose, one that wants to stay the course in Iraq and support them when they have a surplus or one that wants to tell the enemy the general date we’ll withdraw? I can’t help but have visions of green helicopters on the roofs of embassies again. One can speak eloquently but doesn’t say anything and the other calls us all his “friends” but is vague about his plan.

The media could help us to determine where each of these candidates stand. I’ve read a lot of magazines, newspapers and policy statements over the past month, but today I watched a lot of news coverage, and the only thing I saw was the following:

1.) Sarah Palin spent a lot of RNC money on clothes.

2.) Some American Idol chick’s family got killed in Chicago. (Sad, but I didn’t need to hear about it all day.)

3.) Some chick from the view campaigned for McCain and Palin and talked some more about her clothes.

4.) Speeches from each candidate which included statements like “I need you to work for me on November 4 and then I’ll work for you, together we can change America” “He wants to spread the wealth my friends, he doesn’t share your Ohio values, he doesn’t share our American values.” and on and on.

5.) SNL Skits.

6.) There were some movies on and one of them made more money than the rest this weekend, but the take wasn’t as much as it used to be. It might be the economy.

To that last comment I said DUH out loud. I wouldn’t care if the movie business went out of business, I haven’t seen a movie worth seeing in two years.

The “press” has failed as our fourth estate. It used to provide the information that we used to make intelligent decisions as an electorate. Instead we are inundated with sound bites, highlights, advertisements masquerading as news stories and celebrity gossip. I don’t blame the media entirely, we have gotten exactly what we’ve asked for. The populace is more interested in who is dating who, who had who’s baby and which celebrity ate over-priced food at which restaurant in Hollywood than the specific policy positions of a Senator. I understand a lot of folks find government boring, but we’ve been at recess too long in this country, its time to put away the school yard games and concentrate. The bell rings next Tuesday.

An Hour and a Half Most Bizzare

2008-10-02T20:42:00.000-07:00

I watched the vice presidential "debate" this evening. I have never seen anything like it. One candidate refused to answer the questions asked, and the other seemed to think he or she stumbled into a Texas livestock auction. I can't remember the last time I heard the word "maverick" as many times. I don't know anything more about these people than I did three hours ago. I've heard the words "phraseology", "entertaining" and "down home" from the commentators, but I haven't heard a single thing to comfort me that either of these folks could take over should the president die. I learned something useful though. If someone asks me something I don't want to answer, or something I don't have an answer for, I'll just talk about my state and use the words "Bless their hearts", "Maverick", and "Drill Baby Drill" over and over again.

I understand the value of a folksy manner. I've won many a jury trial with my folksy personality. I am not acting, that is who I am, and I've never used the real me to create a fraudulent copy that I use to my advantage. People can tell a fraud from the real deal. People can distinguish the real people from the actors. If we want to see actors, we'll go to the movies and we'll eat popcorn. I should've brought popcorn tonight because I felt like I was seeing two people acting like the people they wanted to be, rather than the people they actually were.

"For The Last Time......

2008-08-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

The District Court Is Now In Session with the Honorable John David Miller Presiding." Those were the words I heard today as I watched a man that I respect and admire take the bench for the last time. We don't just need more Judges like Judge Miller, we need more people like him too. A man who I've never heard utter a cross or vulgar word. A man that is fair to a fault, who tempered his justice with mercy and a man who, whether I agreed with his decisions or not, issued them based on common sense and sound legal reasoning. He retired today with over 25 years of judicial prowess behind him. I am proud to have been the final lawyer to appear before him, and was equally proud to have spent an hour with him, alone in his empty office before his retirement party this evening. We talked about everything from the law, to life and finally, friendship. I am a better lawyer because of him, and a infinitely better human being as I try my best to follow his example. I am proud that I appeared before him so often, but I am even more proud to call him a friend.

Happy Labor Day Everybody!

Trialdawg.

Naps and Transcripts

2008-08-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

I've spent this cloudy Saturday reading a trial transcript for an upcoming appeal. Our dog Limbaugh, my ever-faithful companion, has been right there with me. I am taking a break, so Limbaugh thought she deserved one too.

She isn't in great health and has started that slow decline KJ and I know won't end well, but today she has been at her post, helping me lawyer my way through this Saturday.

Trialdawg.

The Dining Etiquette Of The Rainy Day

2008-08-11T17:24:00.000-07:00

What a random day. I woke up early to spend the day, in it's totality, preparing for a jury trial tomorrow. Forty minutes later, I learned that the prosecuting attorney's Uncle committed suicide which put things off indefinitely. I feel sorry for my friend, because he is hurting, but I was also disappointed that I won't get to try this case tomorrow. What a let down. I spent another few hours at the office and then decided to bag the rest of the day and headed home where I was extremely unproductive today. I sat inside and watched the rain come down while reveling in the unseasonably cool temperatures. I certainly could have been more productive today, but I just didn't feel like it. Instead, I poked around the internet and watched television, in my bed clothes and in close proximity to my bed. This has been a Howard Hughes day for me.

I spent an entire hour watching Dining Etiquette videos. I was unaware that there is a fish knife. Not only do I now know that there is a fish knife, but I know where it should be placed on the table. I know how to use chop sticks properly, and the etiquette of same. I know the difference between Continental Dining and North American Dining and that students of one frown upon the other. Finally, I learned the boundaries of appropriate dinner conversations. As a result, I feel qualified to eat anything, with anything, anywhere and make interesting conversation while doing so.

Finally, I spent the remainder of the day looking at Fine China, Crystal, Flatware and fine paper products. I need these items for the imaginary dinner party that I've planned in my head.

Yep, its time to go back to work tomorrow.

There's Only ONE.........

2008-08-05T21:08:00.000-07:00

KJ and I received our tickets in the mail for the 2008 Oklahoma Football Season.. We are all jacked up for those trips to Norman on fall afternoons to the House that Bud built. The place is so familiar that we feel like we are going home. There are so many things that are great about the pregame at Owen Field, from the band on the field, to the jumping around, but my favorite is the video that plays when OUR team takes the field.. I watch that video and I'm ready to put on a helmet and go hit somebody! Watch it and you'll know what I'm talking about..

A Jealous Mistress Indeed...

2008-08-04T21:09:00.000-07:00

The saying in law school is that the law is a jealous mistress. I came into my profession with my eyes wide open and I know the dangers that this stressful life can pose. We are very good at ignoring our own needs to focus on the needs of every one else. We are in a service business and the client comes first. We don't complain because we knew this is what life would be when we took the gamble to do what we love in the first place. We tell ourselves that it can't happen to us and that we can bear anything, and then it happens to a friend.

John was a friend of mine. He was a great lawyer, not for the law that he knew, but for the common sense that he had. He was a great lawyer for his professionalism and his ethical behavior. He practiced law with the attitude that this is a noble profession and is never a job. He was one of the first people to say hello to me in 1997 when I came to his town as an intern for the District Attorney's Office. He was always available to me when I had a question and he was always gracious to me. Even later in my career, he would help me cover things in his town and I would help him in mine.

I've thought a lot about him today because he died this morning at the age of 55 years old of an aneurysm. And then I began to think of all of my colleagues that I've lost over the past two years, Mitch who died of a heart attack at the age of 43 two days before Christmas, my friend who died in a plane crash in October at the age of 35, my friend in Oklahoma City who died of a single gunshot wound to the head from his own hand last year at the age of 46 and the three law school class mates that we've lost to cancer, heart attack and suicide. Those classmates were all the same age as me. According to my bar association, my profession loses one colleague per month from suicide. 3 per month from cancer and a striking 5 per month from heart attacks.

I've met most of them, even if it was just a short conversation at a conference over a drink. I've tried cases against a few of them. I'll never forget Mitch, he and I were having fun trying a preliminary hearing in Court on December 22, 2005 against one another. After it was over, He slapped me on the shoulder and said "Merry Christmas Jason, see you in January." 12 hours later, he was dead. Each time we lose one, it hurts a little, but today it hurt a lot. John was a kind and decent person who just happened to be a lawyer. If they are in the business of killing lawyers off, they sure killed the wrong one today.

So long..

I'll miss you.

BULLSHIT!

2008-07-23T10:13:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I spent 20 minutes with a fellow attorney in a different town who told me that he was taking a two week vacation to a place I'd never heard of to "find himself". I laughed, I couldn't help it. I told him that he didn't need to take a vacation to "find himself". I told him that he was in Oklahoma and that when he went to the place I'd never heard of, he'd be there at that time. The phrase "find myself" is a fraudulent term used to to imply that the trip was necessary or that his very mental health depended on it. Nobody needs to "find themselves". Unless you are clinically insane, or you're lost in a place where you can't get directions, you know exactly where you are.

I left the conversation with that attorney convinced that he knew exactly where he was and that he was unhappy with his place in life. I was equally convinced that he was actually telling me, I want a vacation, but I am unable to sack up and tell people that I am going to take one so I must assign it more importance than was due.

What a pussy.

An Open Letter to the Good People of Seattle

2008-07-04T10:32:00.000-07:00

I’ve spent the past few hours reading stories, analysis and rants from the good folks in Seattle, WA about their “beloved” Supersonics. I could accurately guess what the sentiment, and the content would be before I started reading. At first, the masses expressed disappointment, shock and sadness. It degenerated into immature name calling and finally, less than 24 hours later, into whining. The former is expected, they should be sad, they should be angry and they should definitely be disappointed, but there is never an excuse to whine. Seattle has no one to blame for their loss other than themselves. They had the chance to keep a team by paying more money, but chose not to do so. They had the opportunity build a new arena, or renovate the old one, but they flatly refused. They thought they were too cool for the original sport franchise in their city. They thought that they could continue to enjoy the economic benefits the team brought to their area while simultaneously treating them like dirt. That way of thinking doesn’t make them cool, it makes them freeloaders. Don’t preach to me that the Sonics’ owners should have “done the right thing” while the Seattle people utterly failed to do their part. Every opportunity is a two way street and must make sense to both parties. The opportunity didn’t make sense to the Sonics anymore.

And while we’re at it, Seattle didn’t really lose all that much. They still have the opportunity to lure an existing NBA franchise or an expansion one, but the current problem must be solved first, an upgraded arena, or a new one. The city gets to keep the name, the colors and the history of their team.

Finally, the attitude of some of the people in the Pacific Northwest astounds me. While there were plenty of intelligent people who articulated the real reason that Seattle no longer had an NBA team, there were more than a few that launched personal attacks against my State. Some said that they felt sorry for the players who had to move to Oklahoma because we didn’t have anything here except cows and teepees. Some attacked my people as backward, illiterate rednecks. Some used the words “white trash trailer park people” as a sweeping indictment of the entire Oklahoma populace. I could attribute these attacks to anger or frustration, but I can’t help but think of an earlier time when some of the people of Washington did the same thing. When my beloved Sooners played Washington State in the Rose Bowl, the newspapers and some Washington citizenry brought out the same tired rhetoric they did yesterday. The tone and message were exactly the same, we’re better than you dolts down there on the prairie. We are the more cultured and cool members of the American family and you all are the ignorant uncle who shows up drunk to the family reunion.

To be clear, we do have trailer parks here, we do have rednecks here and we do have cows. I’ve even seen a teepee or two in a museum. I’ve had the pleasure to travel all over this country and I’ve yet to see a state that is free of rednecks, trailer parks and people who don’t think before they speak. So deal with it Seattle, as you sit in your empty arena from the 1970s and drink your latte and discuss the abstract ideas of what might be or could’ve been, just remember that your ignorant uncle from the prairie out bid, out flanked and out smarted you. And most importantly... Quit whining! Meanwhile, I’ll be at the basketball game, watching MY team. Lets play ball!

From the Great State of Oklahoma

Trialdawg.

The Picture Says It All

2008-06-14T09:04:00.000-07:00

Thank You NASA

2008-06-03T21:28:00.001-07:00

Just went out to see if I could see the Space Shuttle and the International Space Station pass overhead. I checked my computer tracker, found the best viewing arc in my area and proceeded out into the night to gaze skyward. I did not see anything resembling the bright, fast-moving dot which I was supposed to see. I am left with but one conclusion. The space shuttle and the space station do not exist. If this was NASA's way of getting me out of my chair to stand in my front yard looking strait up and spinning in circles like a fool at 11:20 at night. Mission accomplished.

Trialdawg.

A Conversation today...

2008-05-27T20:06:00.000-07:00

AS: Are you Jason?

Me: Yep.

AS: I've heard of you, you represented ******* ******* right?

Me: Yep.

AS: Yeah, I saw you on TV after that, how did you get him off?

Me: If I told you, I'd have to kill you.

AS: *Laughing* Are you taking on new clients?

Me: Sure

AS: I'd like to hire you for my jury trial in June.

Me: Why do you think you need me instead of the lawyer you have now?

AS: Because you win.

Despite my unassuming personality, there are times like these when I internally celebrate what KJ and I have created. Yes, we are that good, yes we win, ALOT and we do it through hard work and talent. It is a seldom thing that we stop. If you are a prosecutor, proceed with caution and if you are police officer, be very afraid. She and I will find a way to beat you. Run scared you bastards! We are your worst nightmare. In short, we win.

To Honor A Friend

2008-05-22T18:16:00.001-07:00

I am writing a brief which, as always, is based on the Constitution of The United States. Thanks to one of my best friends, I got a chance to see the Constitution of The United States and the Bill of Rights again. He drove me around to places I haven't seen in 20 years and he waited outside, in cold rain, for 20 minutes, just so I could go into the National Archives and see those great documents. In short, thank you just isn't enough for what he did for me. It sent a shiver down my spine to read the Fourth Amendment in the ink from, and the handwriting of our founders. Our Fourth Amendment in our Bill of Rights reads as follows:

"The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized."

It is very rare that I get to read the original text that has bought and paid for everything that KJ and I own. If it weren't for these words, I wouldn't have a profession. These words represent my professional passion. I was put on this earth to rise above politics, crises, and terrible crimes to protect these very words for the benefit of all the people of these United States.

I've thought long and hard about how to honor my friend who took me back to a place where I find the ultimate inspiration and to thank him for what he did. This blog just isn't big enough, so I've written the following in the best brief I've ever written and which I expect will reach the highest of Courts..

"It is far too easy to think that our Constitution no longer exists in the face of the law Legislators and Judges have created to kill it. The chief offender is the Patriot Act(citation omitted). Thanks to a friend, who waited in the rain, I am proud to report that the Constitution is alive and well despite the best efforts of the powers that be (45)."

Footnote 45 Simply reads. Thanks MCR.

Thanks old friend, I'll never forget that rainy Sunday in Washington DC.

From The Rain There Shall Be Light

2008-05-12T17:26:00.000-07:00

Author's Note: I wrote this blog early this morning before I left Maryland. Because of the rain, I couldn't post it until now. Even though this blog is a few hours late, the sentiment remains the same.

Too many times in my life, I’ve taken for granted that I am unique in the sense that I am in a far different place than my best friends, for better or worse. Each of us live in different places and deal with different things on a daily basis. We were all supposed to be together this weekend, but only two of us made it. I was disappointed beyond words because I told myself that the missing friend needed this weekend. Truth be told, I needed it far worse than either of the other two. I have been through a two and half year healing process which will end when the planes wheels touch Texas soil in just over 12 hours. I finally understand what I couldn’t over two years ago and that will be so good for my marriage. As for my friends, I have to thank them both, for very different reasons.. They taught me that even though we are in different locations, we are in the very same place.

From Somewhere In A Very Rainy Maryland…

A Very Whole Trialdawg 1:37 AM EST.

And Today Isn't Even My Birthday...

2008-05-05T17:51:00.001-07:00

Oh wait, it IS my birthday. Yes indeed, I am 37 years old today. It has been a great one and the week just gets better. After a few more days, me and my best friend go to Maryland to see our equally best friend. Life just couldn't be better at the moment. I'll be posting some pictures of the more "family friendly moments" on this thing when I get back. To those that have sent me birthday wishes, they are much appreciated. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go find four more aces to put up my sleeve, I plan to be the Texoma Troubedour that comes out on top of our poker playing..

Trialdawg aka Catfish.

Mr. Watson Come Here, I want to see you.. But First, Leave a Message

2008-04-26T09:29:00.000-07:00

I was at the office on this Saturday morning returning calls that I didn't make yesterday. I got a client's voice mail box and the greeting said "Hi you've reached John Doe, please leave a message and I'll return your call as quickly as possible. I did not leave a message because I found the digital greeting completely fraudulent. First, I did not reach John Doe, had I reached John Doe, I would be talking to him instead of being asked to record a message. Second, saying you'll return my call as quickly as possible is a lie. As quickly as possible would imply that as soon as the phone's owner sees that he has missed a call he will return it, every single time, which is completely untrue. There are things we don't like to do while we're on the phone, eating for example. A more accurate greeting would have gone like this "Hi, you've reached the voice mail of john doe, please leave your name and number and I'll return your call after I deal with the more immediate and pressing needs which have more priority than your phone call."

The other day I called a cell phone which greeted me with music. This intrusion just angers me. I hate listening to any music in the morning and there is nothing worse than to pick up my phone at 8 AM to return a call and instead of the comforting silence before the call connects I am greeted with some stupid hippety hop song blaring in my ear, or some insipid guitar boy singing as high as a girl. I spit coffee across my desk. I don't understand the concept of putting a song you like in place of a ringing sound. The only way you'll ever hear it is if you call yourself, and nobody does that. I think the phone's owner does this to expose other people to the music that THEY like. This scenario is analogous to my duct taping someone to a chair and forcing them to listen to my music for awhile. They wouldn't like it either. If I could record my own greeting in place of the customary ringing sounds, it would contain my voice saying "Please enjoy the silence while your call is connected, if you can't handle this silence, hum softly to yourself."

Trialdawg

Life Imitates Art

2008-04-16T19:07:00.000-07:00

I don't make it a habit to quote song lyrics. I like to write my own stuff, but tonight I just don't have the mental strength. There is too much going on but this needs to be said, courtesy of an old song that I am digging again, 15 years later...

Well I jumped into the river too many times
to make it home
I'm out here on my own, and drifting all alone
If it doesn't show, give it time
To read between the lines
'Cause I see the storm getting closer
And the waves they get so high
Seems everything We've ever known's here
Why must it drift away and die

Good night folks.. Thank God tomorrow is a new day!

KJ and I are together, and on our own.
Trialdawg.

Love, Lies and Audiotape

2008-04-15T18:20:00.000-07:00

In a few perfunctory moments you will be treated to an adventure of the history of sound. You will be reminded of how music used to be, before everyone took it so seriously. There are still songs like this around, but they are condemned to the fringe of the scene by people whose tongue can't reach their cheek. Before we begin, you'll want to find your boogie shoes, they are somewhere between your athletic shoes and your clogs.. we'll wait patiently for you.......

Alright, are you back? Good.. Now turn up the volume of your computer, unless you are at work, then listen at a reasonable volume. I promise that this is a real song. Now turn off your inhibitions and any sense of political correctness that you've ever had...You'll probably notice that there is no video, this is normal! This will allow you to close your eyes and savor this wonderful auditory experience.. OK, now press play!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you music the way it used to be. The way it should be! Should any of you follow the advice of this song, my number is in the book, and I give free consultations.

Speed, Precision and Safer Barriers.

2008-04-04T14:28:00.000-07:00

I jokingly refer to my love of NASCAR as "Watching Cars Go Around In Circles". This euphemism is a nod to the dolts who really believe that this sport is just that. This sport, and it is a sport, something I will be happy to argue with anyone at anytime, is so much about team work, strategy and precision. I use the word precision because I am continually impressed that a driver can go into a turn at over 200 miles per hour and repeatedly make the arc, hit the apex and emerge from the other side. It happens so frequently that some forget how much talent and team work it takes for success. Until something goes wrong, just like it did a few moments ago. Go watch Michael McDowell's crash in Turn one of Texas Motor Speedway during his qualifying run and you'll see what I mean. The best news is that he walked away.

Punchline

2008-04-02T17:54:00.000-07:00

I thought of a great punchline today while I was walking to the Courthouse....

And that, children, is why Super Glue is not a suitable substitute for Preparation H.

I'll let you know when I figure out the joke.

Oh to be in Martinsville, now that spring is here....

2008-03-28T17:34:00.000-07:00

While my body spends the weekend in Oklahoma, my heart and mind are in Martinsville, Virginia. Have a great time friends. Enjoy the view of the greatest short track in America, a throwback that is too damned uncommon in today's NASCAR. Enjoy the rubber in your hair, the fuel vapor in your eyes and the smell of burning brakes. I can practically taste those great hot dogs from here..

Trialdawg

A Simple Post From a Simple Man

2008-03-22T10:14:00.000-07:00

This post is as easy as 1,2,3...

1.) If you don't watch Dirty Jobs, you should. The show is interesting and you might learn something.

2.) You should also watch because the show is really funny.

3.) The bloopers are even funnier, as evidenced below. The glass wall kills me every single time.

Where is that naked twister game?

Trialdawg

A Walking Tour of Dallas

2008-03-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

KJ and I spent last weekend in Dallas with the Bee. I had planned to catch the Mavericks while I was in town, but I missed the game. There has been too much going on in my head over the past few weeks and so on Saturday, I eschewed the college basketball games and took a walk around Dallas to clear my head. It was fun to grab a camera and just take some pictures. Here are a few

This is a picture of Dealey Plaza where President Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963. This was taken from the south east Corner of the plaza. The grassy knoll is on the left side of the picture.

The south side of the School Book Depository Building.

The red building is the old Dallas County Courthouse, the modern white building in the background is the new Criminal Courts Building. I like the old one better.

Artistic, don't you think? OK, maybe not.

I walked around for hours and then decided to grab a bite to eat. This place has the best crab legs around.

The east facade of Union Station with Reunion Tower and our Hotel in the background.

I took over 100 pictures on Saturday, and learned something new about a city I've spent a lot of time in. It was a great weekend, I relaxed and I got to spend some down time with KJ and one of my favorite people to hang out with. I can't wait to do it again.

Taking ass and Kicking Names

2008-03-11T21:35:00.000-07:00

Or Something like that. We are in trial mode and I can't remember when I've been this fired up, stressed out and sleep deprived. I also discovered that I am FAT today and so its time to reign myself in, after the trial and exercise off about 40 pounds. My thanks to Karla for helping get us prepared. Its time to get it on in just nine hours. We've been working since 8:30 AM so its time to chill for a few minutes, watch some dirty jobs and sleep for six hours. This week has been terrible for Karla and I, for alot of reasons, but its nice to have you friends who care..

A very tired Trialdawg.

The Other Woman

2008-03-08T18:44:00.001-08:00

It may come as a shock, but I have another woman in my life. She and I have been going on for almost a year now and I am absolutely ashamed, but that shame will not make me give her up. When I first saw her, I was intrigued, but not necessarily attracted. As the affair dragged into the summer it became a full blown lust. The first thing I noticed about her was her curves and her sexy lines. As much as Karla will hate to hear this, I love to give her a bath and run my hands across her sexy curves. I won't use her real name, but her nickname is "Sally". At first, she was much too small for me to fit inside, but as we worked it out together, we are now one. There is nothing as exciting as being inside her and starting out slow and gradually going faster and faster until she roars her approval while music blares in the background. It is pure bliss. Recently, so many people have seen us together, that I must now go public. I am so sorry honey....

but I am love with Sally the Solistice. I love your car.. please forgive me... What did you all think it was?? Dirty Minds!!

Hehehehe I am just giddy

2008-03-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

We've got SNOW, lots and lots of SNOW coming our way. I just can't wait. Sorry for all of the redaction. Some of the stuff I have on my laptop is proprietary and I don't want other lawyers to know how I do what I do.

Decisions Decisions....

2008-03-02T13:29:00.001-08:00

Its car time around here again. I am considering keeping my trusty pickup once its paid for in a few months and buying an additional car for fun. The Ford Shelby GT500 is a leading contender. This car looks mean and is bad fast not to mention that it appeals to my old school sensibilities. Its a throw back and reminds me of those great old Mach 1 Mustangs from the 70s. Here is the latests version, just imagine it in black with white racing stripes.

I am also considering my first Cadillac. This car appeals to me because its sporty, and would be comfortable on long trips. The amenities are top notch and I've always wanted to own a Cadillac, just once in my life. Imagine the model pictured below in Black.

Finally, I could simply go with a new truck, and sell the old one. I am not sure what I think about the new 2009 Ford Lariats. Here is a picture of one

and a picture of the interior, which I think is pretty kick ass.

There is an added bonus to option 3 and that is I'll have more money for one of these..

I've researched boats for the past year and this is the one that I am buying. It's something my Dad and Brother and I can fish from, it has a cover for KJ and my fairer friends. Its perfect for the WHUclan when the boys are older. Sparx and WHU and I have enough room for a poker table and a wet bar and finally its an updated version of my grandfather's boat on which I spent every summer as a kid. Its perfect and I can't wait to get it ordered. I'll let yall know what I decide car wise, I'm sure that you're all just RIVETED!

The Science Behind the Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger

2008-03-01T11:29:00.000-08:00

The previous Blog reminded me of something about which I have wondered for quite some time. Pardon me while I imitate Wikipedia for a moment; Cialis is a pharmaceutical product designed to compete with the existing and more popular Viagra, produced by Pfizer. Both products are dedicated to creating or enhancing the male erection for those amongst us who are unable to achieve a sufficient erection by their own design or on their own volition. Viagra is designed to work quickly over a short period of time, a more natural life span of the adult erection. Cialis turns the male into a teenager again, capable of marathon sex and dry humping everybody and everything in sight, including women, men and the occasional small animal with his new found erection. I am sure everyone has grown tired of the warnings which accompany every prescription drug commercial. A typical warning goes like this, “although this product will cure your every ailment and make you feel great, there is a possibility that you may experience hives, acne, dry heaves, strong urges to gamble, kill animals and molest small children, male lactation, purple poo, anal fissures, loss of eye sight, numb hands, numb feet, loss of blood, public urination, projectile vomiting, excessive flatulence, shitting a Yugo, toilet surfing, post mature ejaculation, and instantaneous death during the use of this product.” While Viagra has resorted to commandeering the songs of dead kings, Cialis has turned a warning into its selling point “If you experience a four hour erection, consult your physician”. I can think of many things I would do with a four hour erection, but consulting my physician does not make that list.

One more thing about these commercials. Both products warn that they may cause a “significant drop in blood pressure”. This warning is not only a helpful tip, but provides an insight into both the biology and psychology of the male human being. Men are simple creatures. We are not that far from the cave on a fundamental level. We like breasts, cars, trucks, playing in the mud and dirt, and we enjoy our own erections, sometimes to our detriment. The human body is an amazing machine and it runs on blood. Should blood fail to circulate to a particular area of the body, that area will begin to die within a few minutes and permanent damage can occur. This medical certainty explains brain damage and the loss of limbs, but also helps explain why men act the way that we do in certain situations. You see, the male erection robs the brain of the necessary blood for us to function properly. This medical certainty explains why when we see bare breasts, and even cleavage we lose the ability to form complete sentences, why we will occasionally drool on ourselves and miss our mouths while trying to feed ourselves. To quote a phrase, God gave us a brain and a penis, and not enough blood to run both at the same time. ITS JUST SCIENCE. If you are a woman reading this, I hope you are finally able to fully understand the handicap that men labor under at least 45 times a day. If you are a man reading this, forget how men are supposed to act in this new culture and join with me in celebrating our power, and our failures, but always remember that there is biological reason for both.

Trucknuts and Tall Tales

2008-02-26T18:12:00.000-08:00

A word before I begin. If you have children, don’t let them read this unless you’ve read it first, and are comfortable with the content. I am not talking about the curse words, the bull ball content nor my sunny sentiment, I am talking about the important veneer that makes childhood great.

I am not unsympathetic to the plight of parents who are trying to raise children in this world that is decidedly child unfriendly. Television, movies, magazines and the other creatures of our pop culture have images and sounds which can lead to some very awkward discussions between little ones and their exasperated parents. I recognize that we must have child friendly zones where children can just be children, unfettered by the world that they will all too quickly discover and live in. However, I also believe that over the past fifty years, some parents have turned into uptight, entitled fear mongers who use their children and grandchildren to mold the whole world into one that suits their own view that anything even remotely awkward should stop. Worse are those that use all children as an excuse to create a world to suit their own definition of righteousness and morality.

Case in point. There is a product called truck nuts. Trucknuts are a plastic representation of a pair bull testicles. They hang from the trailer hitch, ball if you will, of a truck bumper. Proceeds from the sale of truck nuts go to various charities, including the Lance Armstrong Foundation, which funds research to cure testicular cancer. See the connection? There is a concerted effort in this country to ban truck nuts and it has come all the way to State Capitols, including Oklahoma. There have been all manner of excuses to ban Trucknuts. Virginia wanted to ban them because they were distracting to drivers and could cause accidents. Oklahoma legislators are using children to ban them. An Oklahoma legislator actually said “parents should not be forced to talk to their children about the birds and the bees”. I am but a simple country lawyer, so help me understand what the hell these people are talking about. If a child doesn’t know what they are, and a parent isn’t comfortable with an accurate description, then do what every parent does. LIE, LIE your ass off. Tell a lie as big some of the others we tell children. Like an old man comes to your house once a year on his magic, flying sled pulled by his equally magic reindeer and squeezes his fat ass down your chimney, even if you don’t have one, and brings you the very toys that you asked for. You might also make up a story equal to the Easter Bunny, which distributes unfertilized eggs from other animals painted funny colors. Be creative, tell the kids that the truck nuts are a shrunken trailer, or magic beans. Or here’s an idea, just be honest. Just tell them that the truck is MALE. Every kid, no matter how young has the rudimentary knowledge that there are boys and girls, but this concept is too much for some parents to handle. Aren’t there Cialis commercials where these people live?

One more facet to this ludicrous argument is the overlooked fact that Oklahoma is a State where about a billion cattle live, and some of them even have balls, huge obvious balls which make male porn stars envious. Cattle can be seen everywhere in this State and most of us have worked near them at one time or another. My parents didn’t have to worry about this particular conversation with me. Work on a farm for five minutes and all the mystery about life is gone. I began to wonder about more important things. I wondered if my balls would grow to the size of Barney, my Great Aunt’s prized bull. I was concerned because I thought I would look funny wearing pants of that size. Sadly, I never had to confront such a problem.

Finally, I am deeply concerned Virginia will move on to other “distractions” of the driving public, like Corvettes, cleavage and cell phones. If they’ll ban a pair of plastic nuts, they’ll ban everything. On a serious note, there is nothing funny or sexual about the invasion of testicles by cancer. Although some parents would like to pretend otherwise, testicles are as much a part of my body as my arms and any money raised to combat their cancer is a good thing. Even if uptight parents who would rather NOT talk to their children think otherwise.

Trialdawg.

For The New York Times, Self Confidence in Journalism Poses Its Own Risk

2008-02-21T18:48:00.001-08:00

I've spent the past few hours doing a little research on an article in the New York Times today. I have done some perfunctory research online, listened to a few denials on television and watched some of the talking heads' reaction to the article. In short, John McCain is accused of having a close relationship with a woman 30 years his junior, Vicki Iseman, who just happened to be a lobbyist for Lowell Paxson and Glencairn Ltd., a telecommunications company that later became Cunningham Broadcasting. Of course, John McCain is McCain from The McCain/Feingold Bill which sought to lessen the influence of Lobbyists on legislators and thus, the legislative process. As if that weren't an explosive enough allegation, the article reaches to find a romantic relationship.

Before I begin my criticism of this article, I am not a conservative, I am not a liberal and I am not a moderate. I vote for ideas based on common sense and what I think is good law. I vote as a Constitutional Lawyer and Scholar, and believe that 95% of law passed today is as dumb as Paris Hilton, and just as useless. This article is dumb because it smacks of sensationalism. The alleged "romantic relationship" is thrown in as an afterthought, a "fear" by two unidentified "staffers" who were "inside" the campaign. SHOCKING! Among the hundreds of people close to McCain in the 2000 presidential campaign two of them thought that he might want to fuck a woman 30 years his junior. In case you don't read the papers, or have lived in cave since birth, 60 year old men like 30 year old women because they aren't incontinent and they don't require an orthopedic pillow to get into the missionary position. This theory is gaining acceptance as is that crazy "flat earth postulate" along with the equally unproven thought that we can never land on the moom. I am astounded at the insight of these two "unidentified staffers". Put them on NASA'S payroll immediately, perhaps we can traverse our lunar landscape soon. In short, there is nothing to even remotely suggest a "romantic relationship", but there are other allegations in the article.

The article gives readers a few of Ms. Iseman's clients along with some of the apparent preferential treatment from McCain. One of them was Glencairn Ltd.

I heard alot about Glencairn Ltd. because they owned an Oklahoma City TV station and in 1999 wanted to purchase another one in the same market, which did occur. This little tidbit isn't in the article, but I know about it because I am from this State, and I agreed with it then and still do. The article does give readers the information that in 1998 and 1999, McCain wrote two letters to the FCC to support deregulation of the industry. McCain also supported other positions and legislation analogous with and beneficial to Ms. Iseman's clients. The "reporters" never use the vast resources at their disposal to check if those positions were out of line with other votes or actions he took in his twenty years in Congress. In short, just because some of his positions are the same as Ms. Iseman's does not a "romantic relationship" nor an "improper influence" make. There are plenty of other questions about McCain that come as a result from this article, but they are lost in the sensationalism of today's reporting. And you sure as hell won't find the answers in this article.

There was a glorious time when the press was a tool for democracy by demanding transparency about the things that mattered in our government, by pinning down the position of a candidate, and using investigative journalism to get to the truth. Today's press, as a whole has turned their focus to the sensational, the innuendo and the fairly obvious. That stuff sells newspapers today, but damn I miss the old days.

Stay tuned. Tomorrow we'll discuss cow balls and car bumpers..

HOLY CRAP!!

2008-02-19T19:54:00.000-08:00

The University of Oklahoma just pulled off the most improbable win against the Baylor Bears. We were down by 9 points with 10 seconds to go in overtime. I just can't believe we won that game in overtime and a FOUR POINT PLAY put us over the top by one. The refs called a terrible foul on the ensuing possession resulting in two free throws for Baylor with 1 second left in overtime and HE MISSED THEM BOTH! I had tickets, but watched it on TV instead. HOW STUPID AM I??? GOD I LOVE COLLEGE BASKETBALL!!!

NEWWWMAN

2008-02-17T17:49:00.000-08:00

Karla and I spent the day watching the Daytona 500 (4 hours) and a pre-race (3 Hours) which prompted Karla and I to utter our old stand by quote for long pre-shows, "When do we drink it?". Ryan Newman won, Karla's favorite driver. I was utterly shocked that a Dodge won. SHOCKED I tell you, but it was awful nice to see one of NASCAR's good guys win the year's biggest race. It has been a very nice weekend, and thanks to the day set aside for Presidents, we have one more day to relax. I am sorry to those who have to go back to work tomorrow, I'll be thinking about you from the comfort of my Serta.

Trialdawg.

The police are always right..Suuuure they are...

2008-02-16T21:04:00.001-08:00

If you think so, then watch the video below. I'm telling ya folks, there are a lot of times when they are flat wrong, but a very few times, they get caught on tape being as wrong as they usually are..

Feels Like Rain,

2008-02-16T10:21:00.000-08:00

And it looks like it too. In fact, I can't remember when I've seen such crazy weather. Last night, there was sleet falling, now we have thunderstorms and a downpour of Cold, gray rain accompanied by thunder and lightning. Very strange indeed. I love these days because I don't feel as unproductive when I stay inside, watch TV and do absolutely nothing but eat and hang out. I haven't wanted to do that much lately as I've had cabin fever, but this weekend will be spent at home cooking and watching cars go around in circles. I hope all of you have a good one as well.

Why I Like Trace Adkins

2008-02-12T17:55:00.000-08:00

In case you missed it, Trace Adkins was on Bill Maher last week. He asked a question about which I have long wondered... NOT EVEN CLOSE to being safe for work...

Professing Stand Up In the Light of Legal History

2008-02-12T17:48:00.000-08:00

I have long considered the possibility of using my Juris Doctrate for something other than law. Well that’s not entirely accurate, something in addition to law. It seems that I have the opportunity to do something I’ve long dreamed of, teach part time at the University from which I graduated. I have looked into it, would be hired if I applied and I think I would enjoy it. I know I’d be good at it simply because I’ve done a few variants of it in the past, but nothing like this, where my name would be in the Catalog. I’d never be as good at it as my friend WHU, nor would I be as cerebral as my friend Sparx ( I use their nicknames so as to protect their real identities. The statutes of limitations have yet to run on a few things), but I think I could hold my own, and I think I would have fun. I don’t yet know what subject I would teach, but I think I could have fun with the course descriptions.. A few come to mind:

* “I did not have sex with that woman“ A study of Perjury and Impeachment. (A few Lecture titles would be: “Hummer in the Blue Dress, a study of DNA in the face, (or almost in the mouth) of denial”; “It Is What It Is, A Study of what Is actually Is”; “The Starr of the Show, An Independent Counsel Out of Control” and finally “The Good Cigar, A Study of the Vaginal Perversion of Cuban Tobacco.”)

*”The Wide (Right) Stance.. A study of the “Accidental” Homosexual” (A few Lecture Titles would be: “ The 24 Hour News Cycle: The Consequences of a Stupid Plea”; “Deny, Deny, Deny: Never Overestimate the Intelligence of the American People, or the Senate.”; and finally “Don’t You Know Who I Am? The Folly of the Powerful and Deluded”).

* “ Rhyme, Not Reason.. A Study of the OJ Simpson Trial” (A few lecture titles would be “Gloves and Acquittal, if you can rap, you can defend“; “What the Fruck did he say? The Confusing Cross Examination of Henry Lee“; and finally “ The McDonald’s Getaway, the use of Fast Food as an Alibi).

I will let you all know what I decide to do when the time comes, I have several months to consider the opportunity. I hope all is well with all of you and that you’ll consider coming down to the college to take a class with Professor Trialdawg.

Tdizzle

Welcome all my friends to the show that never ends, I'm so glad you could attend, come inside come inside

2008-02-10T12:41:00.000-08:00

I want to welcome everyone to my new blog site. I plan to write about things I am interested in and I hope that you all enjoy it. Feel free to leave a comment or two, and to disagree with the opinions I express. I hope that what I write will provoke thought, emotion and laughter. I like to laugh at myself, because I am the butt of some of the best jokes, but I am also prone to laugh at everyone else. Nothing I write here is intended to be mean spirited to a specific person, but some of what I write may hit close to a trait or belief you hold dear. So kick back, relax and enjoy the new blog, I am going to write often and in ways that I couldn't in my previous Myspace blog. I am glad that you are here and I welcome you to The Trialdawg Files, A Life On The Run.